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Tuesday, 10 September 2024

Try the New Candy by Aron Beauregard (Maggot Press) | review by Douglas J. Ogurek

Exceptional entertainer assembles grab bag of depravity and butchery that leaves a few minor cavities.

In Aron Beauregard’s “Still Under Construction”, newlyweds with a “ghoulish curiosity” visit The Museum of Death where they encounter repulsed spectators fleeing a theatre showing gruesome footage. Like the strange (and potentially dangerous) proprietor who runs the ghastly museum, Beauregard challenges readers of Try the New Candy to witness his repugnant subject matter without turning away. 

Although this gore-spattered short story collection from one of the hottest names in splatterpunk bursts with innovative concepts, it suffers from mistakes (particularly in the use of commas), strange point of view shifts, and an overreliance on narrative summary. Moreover, Beauregard’s choice of language can be jarring. It seems strange, for instance, that a non-intrusive omniscient narrator would use the word “asshole” to describe that body part. 

However, except for one story involving a debaucherous night club (an oversaturated topic in this subgenre), I found the collection disturbingly entertaining. The material, filled with bleakness and characters both engaging and unlikable, is so enthralling that the above shortcomings fade into the background. The collection shows that there’s a fate far worse than freezing to death in a broken-down car and that we should be cautious about what we download from the internet.

Gore extravaganza “House Sitting with Dad” drills its way into the reader’s mind. The sadistic adolescent protagonist and his drug-addled, chauvinistic father watch a house for the latter’s friend Joyce. The duo soon discovers Joyce is collecting something much less innocuous than dolls. Part of the story’s appeal is the way the first-person narrator nonchalantly describes the extreme violence he enacts on victims for no other purpose than sexual gratification. 

In the titular story, protagonist Stanley is shy and oafish yet dependable to a fault. His overbearing boss Red tells Stanley he will eventually transfer his business to him, but then seductress Candy enters the picture. What happens when lust triumphs over loyalty? Carnage.  

“The Donor” is an ultraviolent piece about a woman who gets artificially inseminated. The supposed father mutilates her, and the baby grows up to be a disabled and hideous man-child. 

The collection even has two tamer stories. “Five O’clock Shadow” is a touching tale about friendship and belonging in which a barber shop regular finally decides to get his beard shaved. In “More Than a Feeling”, a beloved aunt with a special ability senses something negative about a partygoer’s glove. Nevertheless, when one buys a Cannibal Corpse album, that individual probably isn’t looking for ballads.  

The candy sits in your lap, and the show is about to start. Is there a point at which you’re willing to stop? If not, you may end up in boiling water. Douglas J. Ogurek ****

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