Showing posts with label Howard Phillips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Howard Phillips. Show all posts

Monday, 10 September 2018

UNSPLATTERPUNK! 2 (TQF63): now out in paperback and ebook!

free epub | free mobi | free pdf | print UK | print USA | Kindle UK | Kindle US

GUEST-EDITED BY DOUGLAS J. OGUREK

“Ghastly.” “Bloodthirsty.” “Transgressive.” “Over-the-top violence and sexual deviation.” So said the reviews of UNSPLATTERPUNK!, the first official collection in the unsplatterpunk subgenre.

Now, seven goreslingers and propriety defilers have grossed up their game to deliver UNSPLATTERPUNK! 2. True to the unsplatterpunk subgenre, these stories deliver a moral message while shocking or repulsing the reader. The collection includes a foreword by criminologist, philosopher, and aesthetic commentator Rafe McGregor.

Returning contributor Drew Tapley kicks off the awfulness on an impressively juvenile note with the anthology's most straightforward story. In “First Kiss”, a high school student deals with an expulsive situation with as much stoicism as Conan the Barbarian… maybe “Barfbarian” is more relevant. Trophy hunting is Triffooper Saxelbax’s target as his protagonist, a designer of controversial augmented reality games, takes on the corporate obsession with teamwork in “The Villainy of Solitude”. Hugh Alsin’s satirical piece “Convention Hitler!” explores intolerance run amok when the story’s namesake attends a British horror convention. In “The Music of Zeddy Graves”, Stephen Theaker brings his planet-hopping duo of Rolnikov and Pelney to Melodia, whose inhabitants participate in an endless music festival, and whose main attraction goes to gruesome extremes to achieve her compositions. Douglas J. Ogurek’s “Gunkectomy” alternates between an embittered architect/author and a husband hunter who finds commercial and social value in her earwax. “The Tapestry of Roubaix” by Howard Phillips seems to come off the shelf of a nineteenth century library, until it reveals what the protagonist does in his washbasin. M.S. Swift, another returning contributor, closes out the collection with “The Bones of Old England”, an extravaganza of mania-induced carnage.

Delve deep into the cesspool that is UNSPLATTERPUNK! 2, and remember – sometimes to learn a lesson, you might have to get dirty.



Here are the unsplattered contributors to this issue:

Douglas J. Ogurek is the pseudonym for a writer living somewhere on Earth. Though banned on Mars, his fiction appears in over forty Earth publications. Ogurek founded the controversial literary subgenre known as unsplatterpunk, which uses splatterpunk conventions (e.g. extreme violence, gore, taboo subject matter) to deliver a positive message. He guest-edited Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #58: UNSPLATTERPUNK!, the first ever unsplatterpunk anthology. He also reviews films at that same ezine. Recent longer works include the young adult novel Branch Turner vs the Currants (World Castle Publishing) and the horror/suspense novella Encounter at an Abandoned Church (Scarlet Leaf Publishing). More at www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com. Twitter: @unsplatter

Drew Tapley is a copywriter, journalist and filmmaker based in Toronto.

Howard Phillips is the author of His Nerves Extruded, The Doom That Came to Sea Base Delta and The Day the Moon Wept Blood.

Howard Watts provides the exceptional wraparound cover for this issue.

Hugh Alsin is a writer who now stays away from conventions, although he stresses that the events in his story are completely fictitious, and any resemblance to people living or dead is either unintentional or for the purposes of satire or parody.

M.S. Swift’s work has been published in a wide range of horror and fantasy anthologies, including the first TQF unsplatterpunk collection. Swift’s writing is inspired by the landscape and mythology of his native Britain. He recently completed a witch hunter novel set in an alternative medieval Britain and is seeking a publisher courageous enough to back it.

Rafe McGregor lectures at Leeds Trinity University and the University of York. He is the author of The Value of Literature, two novels, six collections of short fiction, and two hundred articles, essays, and reviews. His most recent book is The Adventures of Roderick Langham, a collection of occult detective stories.

Stephen Theaker has written several novels, but does not recommend reading them.

Triffooper Saxelbax is an emerging (and often grating) voice in the unsplatterpunk subgenre. When he is not writing, he stir-fries vegetables and decorates pine cones. His work has not been translated into any other languages. Neither has it been nominated for nor appeared in the year’s best so and so. Saxelbax’s mental exertions have caused numerous regional power outages.



As ever, all back issues of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.

Monday, 4 July 2016

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #55: now out, in print and ebook!

free pdf | free epub | free mobi | print UK | print US | Kindle UK | Kindle US | review

Issue fifty-five of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction is now out!

It is guest edited by the zine’s long-time cover artist, Howard Watts, and includes stories inspired by his art, including competition winner “The Departure” by Mark Lewis, “Our Sad Triangle” by Len Saculla, and “The Stone Gods of Superspace” by Howard Phillips (a TQF crossover special featuring many friends from past issues), plus the more tangentially related “This Alien I” by Antonella Coriander and “The Little Shop That Sold My Heart”, and an entire weird novella from Anthony Thomson, “My Place”. Then a sixty-page review section features the work of Stephen Theaker, Douglas J. Ogurek, Jacob Edwards, Howard Watts and Rafe McGregor. The cover art is by Howard Watts.

We look at the work of Alcatena, Andy Diggle, Brian K. Vaughan, Cherie Priest, David Tallerman, Douglas Adams, Frazer Irving, Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Guy Adams, Henry Flint, Jimmy Broxton, Joe Dever, John Wagner, Peter Tomasi, Phil Hester, Pia Guerra, Steve Yeowell and Tony Harris. Plus there are reviews of 10 Cloverfield Lane, Ash vs Evil Dead, Deadpool, Fallout 4, Fear the Walking Dead: Season 1, Gods of Egypt, Jessica Jones: Season 1, Sherlock: The Abominable Bride, The Boy and The Witch.

The spectacular wraparound cover art is, as ever, by the marvellous Howard Watts.



Here are the kindly contributors to this issue:

Anthony Thomson has an idea he lives in Brighton, but can never be sure. His short story “Burning Up” was published by ABeSea magazine. He’s influenced by the paintings of Leonora Carrington and Remedios Varos, and he mines the soundscapes of sixties music for psychedelic nuggets.

Antonella Coriander has never been happier. “This Alien I”, which appears in this issue, is the sixth episode of her ongoing Oulippean serial, Les aventures fantastiques de Beatrice et Veronique.

Len Saculla had a story entitled “Zom-Boyz Have All the Luck” in Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #52. He has also had work published in the BFS Journal, Wordland, Unspoken Water and anthologies from Kind of a Hurricane Press in America. In 2015, he was nominated for a Pushcart Prize.

Mark Lewis has recently had work published in The Four Seasons anthology from Kind of a Hurricane Press, and in collaboration with fellow Clockhouse London Writers in The Masks anthology by Black Shuck Press. He has also had fiction and poetry widely published in the independent press, including the British Fantasy Society Journal, Escape Velocity, Scheherazade, Estronomicon, The Nail, and others. He has also written and performed in pantomimes. More of Mark’s writing can be found at: http://syntheticscribe.wordpress.com.

Douglas J. Ogurek’s work has appeared in the BFS Journal, The Literary Review, Morpheus Tales, Gone Lawn, and several anthologies. He lives in a Chicago suburb with the woman whose husband he is and their pit bull Phlegmpus Bilesnot. Douglas’s website can be found at: http://www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com.

Howard Phillips typed up the novella that appears in this issue, “The Stone Gods of Superspace”, after finding a draft version in his moleksine notebook. He does not remember writing it, and is not sure whether those events really happened or not.

Howard Watts is a writer, artist and composer living in Seaford who also provides the wraparound cover art for this issue. His artwork can be seen in its native resolution on his deviantart page: http://hswatts.deviantart.com. His novel The Master of Clouds is now available on Kindle.

Jacob Edwards also writes 42-word reviews for Derelict Space Sheep. This writer, poet and recovering lexiphanicist’s website is at www.jacobedwards.id.au. He has a Facebook page at www.facebook.
com/JacobEdwardsWriter, where he posts poems and the occasional oddity, and he can now be found on Twitter too: https://twitter.com/ToastyVogon.

Rafe McGregor has published over one hundred and twenty short stories, novellas, magazine articles, journal papers, and review essays. His work includes crime fiction, weird tales, military history, literary criticism, and academic philosophy.

Stephen Theaker’s reviews have appeared in Interzone, Black Static, Prism and the BFS Journal, as well as clogging up our pages. He shares his home with three slightly smaller Theakers, runs the British Fantasy Awards, and works in legal and medical publishing.



As ever, all back issues of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.

Friday, 14 August 2015

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #52: now available for free download!

free epub | free mobi | free pdf | print UK | print USA | Kindle UK | Kindle US

Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #52 is a little shorter than usual, but still features four great stories: Rocking Horse Traffic by Yarrow Paisley, Quest for Lost Beauty by Howard Phillips, Zom-Boyz Have All the Luck by Len Saculla, and “Surprise Thee Ranging With Thy Peers”, the latest Two Husbands episode from Walt Brunston. The Quarterly Review from Douglas J. Ogurek, Stephen Theaker and Jacob Edwards includes reviews of It Follows, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Insurgent, Memory Lane, Jurassic World, Holy Cow by David Duchovny, The Dark Defiles by Richard Morgan, The Glorkian Warrior Eats Adventure Pie by James Kochalka, and many others.



  • Rocking Horse Traffic, Yarrow Paisley
  • Quest for Lost Beauty, Howard Phillips
  • Zom-Boyz Have All the Luck, Len Saculla
  • “Surprise Thee Ranging With Thy Peers”, Walt Brunston
  • The Quarterly Review
  • Also Read
  • Also Reviewed
  • Forthcoming Attractions



Here are the kindly contributors to this issue:

Douglas J. Ogurek’s work has appeared in the BFS Journal, The Literary Review, Morpheus Tales, Gone Lawn, and several anthologies. He lives in a Chicago suburb with the woman whose husband he is and their pit bull Phlegmpus Bilesnot. Douglas’s website can be found at: http://www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com.

Howard Phillips is a dissolute poet whose previous contribution to this zine received such bad reviews that he wept for three days, burned seventeen unpublished novels, and wrote a series of angry blog posts accusing various parties of disparaging his genius. We asked him why he had taken it so badly, and he replied, “If you need to ask, you’ll never know.”

Howard Watts is a writer, artist and composer living in Seaford who provides the cover art for this issue. His artwork can be seen in its native resolution on his deviantart page: http://hswatts.deviantart.com. His novel The Master of Clouds is now available on Kindle.

Jacob Edwards flies with Australia’s speculative fiction flagship Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, but meets us in the pub between runs. This writer, poet and recovering lexiphanicist’s website is at http://www.jacobedwards.id.au. He also has a Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/JacobEdwardsWriter, where he posts poems and the occasional oddity. Like him and follow him!

Len Saculla has had stories and poems published in venues such as the BFS publication Dark Horizons, Terry Grimwood’s Wordland and Ian Hunter’s Unspoken Water. He has also had a couple of stories turned into podcasts from Joanna Sterling’s “Tube Flash at the Casket” (http://www.thecasket.com).

Stephen Theaker’s reviews have appeared in Black Static, Interzone, Prism and the BFS Journal, as well as clogging up our pages. He shares his home with three slightly smaller Theakers, runs the British Fantasy Awards, and works in legal and medical publishing.

Walt Brunston’s adaptation of the classic television story, Space University Trent: Hyperparasite, is now available on Kindle.

Yarrow Paisley lives in the Pioneer Valley of Western Massachusetts, USA. His fiction has appeared in Shimmer, Strange Tales V (Tartarus Press), Sein und Werden, and Dadaoism: An Anthology (Chômu Press), among others.



As ever, all back issues of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #51: now available for free download!

free epub | free mobi | free pdf | print UK | print USA | Kindle UK | Kindle US

Welcome to Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #51! We have six stories for you this time: “Too Much Light Makes the Day Go Blind” by Marshall Moore, “One Slough and Crust of Sin” by Walt Brunston, “Water Imperial” by Charles Wilkinson, “The Assassin’s Lair” by Howard Phillips, “Whale on a Tilt” by Andrea M. Pawley and “Cybertronica” by Antonella Coriander. There are also fifteen reviews, by Stephen Theaker, Douglas J. Ogurek and Jacob Edwards.

We review books by Lavie Tidhar, Grant Morrison and Steve Yeowell, Henry Kuttner, David Ramirez and Joe Abercrombie, plus a Brenda & Effie audio play by Paul Magrs. We also consider Space Battleship Yamato, Jupiter Ascending, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (twice), the Kindle Voyage, the Amazon Fire TV, season 9 of Supernatural, season 1 of The Leftovers, and season 1 of Constantine.



  • Too Much Light Makes the Day Go Blind, Marshall Moore
  • “One Slough and Crust of Sin”, Walt Brunston
  • Water Imperial, Charles Wilkinson
  • The Assassin’s Lair, Howard Phillips
  • Whale on a Tilt, Andrea M. Pawley
  • Cybertronica, Antonella Coriander
  • The Quarterly Review
  • Also Read
  • Also Reviewed
  • Forthcoming Attractions



Here are the contributors to this post-celebration hangover issue:

Andrea M. Pawley’s spirit animal is the piranhamoose. Hear her burble-roar at http://www.andreapawley.com.

Antonella Coriander has a plan, but she isn’t saying what it is yet. Her story in this issue, “Cybertronica”, is the fifth episode of her ongoing Oulippean serial, Les aventures fantastiques de Beatrice et Veronique.

Charles Wilkinson’s story in this issue is “Water Imperial”, about the peculiar goings-on at the Imperial Spa Hotel and Conference Centre. His publications include The Pain Tree and Other Stories and Ag & Au. His stories have appeared in Best Short Stories 1990, Best English Short Stories 2, Midwinter Mysteries, Unthology, London Magazine, Able Muse Review, and in genre publications such as Supernatural Tales, Phantom Drift, Horror Without Victims, The Sea in Birmingham, Sacrum Regnum, Rustblind and Silverbright and Shadows & Tall Trees. New short stories are forthcoming in Ninth Letter and Bourbon Penn.

Douglas J. Ogurek’s work has appeared in the BFS Journal, The Literary Review, Morpheus Tales, Gone Lawn, and several anthologies. He lives in a Chicago suburb with the woman whose husband he is and their five pets. This time he reviews The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. His website can be found at: http://www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com.

Howard Phillips is a dissolute poet whose contributions to this zine have ranged from the mediocre to the abysmal. In this issue he continues his latest autobiographical tale, A Dim Star Is Born, in “The Assassin’s Lair”. The previous instalment received such bad reviews that he wept for three days, burned seventeen unpublished novels, and wrote a series of angry blog posts accusing various parties of disparaging his genius. We asked him why he had taken it so badly, and he replied, “If you need to ask, you’ll never know.”

Howard Watts is a writer, artist and composer living in Seaford who provides the cover art for this issue. His artwork can be seen in its native resolution on his deviantart page: http://hswatts.deviantart.com. His novel The Master of Clouds is now available on Kindle.

Jacob Edwards flies with Australia’s speculative fiction flagship Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, but meets us in the pub between runs. This writer, poet and recovering lexiphanicist’s website is at http://www.jacobedwards.id.au. He also has a Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/JacobEdwardsWriter, where he posts poems and the occasional oddity. Like him and follow him! In this issue he reviews The Forever Watch by David Ramirez, Space Battleship Yamato and The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.

Marshall Moore makes his TQF debut in this issue with “Too Much Light Makes the Day Go Blind”. He is the author of four novels (Bitter Orange, An Ideal for Living, The Concrete Sky and Murder in the Cabaret Sauvignon) and three short-fiction collections (The Infernal Republic, Black Shapes in a Darkened Room, and the forthcoming A Garden Fed by Lightning). With Xu Xi, he is the co-editor of the anthology The Queen of Statue Square: New Short Fiction from Hong Kong. In addition to his work as an author, he is the principal at Typhoon Media Ltd, an independent publishing company based in Hong Kong, and he is a PhD candidate in Creative Writing at Aberystwyth University in Wales. For more information, see http://www.marshallmoore.com.

Stephen Theaker’s reviews have appeared in Black Static, Interzone, Prism and the BFS Journal, as well as clogging up our pages. He shares his home with three slightly smaller Theakers, runs the British Fantasy Awards, and works in legal and medical publishing.

Walt Brunston’s story in this issue is “One Slough and Crust of Sin”, his adaptation of issue two of The Two Husbands. We don’t know where he got those comics – apparently he’s got the full run. We’ve never been able to find them in the UK. He’s said that if we ever cross the pond he’ll let us stay over and read them, but they have guns in the USA, and no NHS, which seems to us a remarkably dangerous combination.



As ever, all back issues of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #45: free download, cheap in print!


Hey, Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #45 is now available and features four stories: “The Colour of the Wind Erodes the Shape of Time” by Howard Watts, “We Slept Through the Apocalypse” by Howard Phillips, “Kingdom Automata” by Katharine Coldiron and “Carcosa, Found” by Robin Wyatt Dunn. The typically tedious editorial concerns my recent conversion to the cult of Scrivener.

The issue also includes six book reviews by Stephen Theaker (Arctic Rising, Finches of Mars, The Resurrectionist, Alien Legion Omnibus, Claudia’s Story and Saga, Vol. 2), two film reviews by Jacob Edwards (Elysium and Man of Steel), and one film review each from Douglas J. Ogurek (The Conjuring) and Howard Watts (Star Trek Into Darkness) (who also supplies the cover art).

Links

Paperback edition: on Amazon.co.uk / on Amazon.com
Epub version (free)
Mobi version (free)
PDF version (free)
Kindle Store: on Amazon.co.uk / on Amazon.com

All 44 back issues are also available for free download, in various formats.

Contributors

Douglas J. Ogurek’s work has appeared in such publications as the BFS Journal, Dark Things V, Daughters of Icarus, The Literary Review, Morpheus Tales and WTF?! He lives in Gurnee, Illinois with the woman whose husband he is and their five pets. His website: www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com.

Howard Phillips is one of this magazine’s most prolific contributors. Poet, musician, philosopher, critic: he does it all, though none of it well. In this issue’s episode of his memoirs, “We Slept Through the Apocalypse” (also to be the title of this novel as a whole when eventually published), he remembers the time he held an impromptu music festival on a farm.

Howard Watts is a writer, artist and composer living in Seaford who provides not only the cover to this issue, but also a story (“The Colour of the Wind Erodes the Shape of Time”) and a review!

Jacob Edwards supplies us this issue with in-depth reviews of Man of Steel and Elysium. But his heart still belongs to Australia’s speculative fiction flagship Andromeda Spaceways, and he edited issues 45 and 55 of their Inflight Magazine. The website of this writer, poet and recovering lexiphanicist: www.jacobedwards.id.au.

Katharine Coldiron’s work has appeared in The Escapist, JMWW, Unlikely Stories, and elsewhere. She lives in California, blogs at The Fictator (fictator.blogspot.com), and contributes “Kingdom Automata” to this issue.

Robin Wyatt Dunn lives in southern California and is the author of three novels. A member of the Horror Writers Association, he is proud to have been born in the Carter Administration. You can find him at www.robindunn.com. He contributes “Carcosa, Found”.

Stephen Theaker is the eponymous co-editor of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, and his reviews have also appeared in Interzone, Black Static, Prism and the BFS Journal. He wishes there were Kindle and Comixology apps for the Xbox 360.

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #44: now out!

Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #44 is now out! It features five stories, arranged roughly in the chronological order of their settings: “A Lesson from the Undergrowth” by Charles Wilkinson, “Snow Crime” by Allen Ashley, “The Return of the Terrible Darkness” by Howard Phillips, “Black Sun” by Douglas Thompson, and “Milo on Fire” by Ross Gresham.

You’re going to love them. (Except the Howard Phillips one.)

The review section isn’t quite as long as last issue’s, but it still features five books (Dodger, A Game of Groans, Martian Sands, Señor 105 and the Elements of Danger and Star Wars: Scoundrels), three films (The Host, Star Trek Into Darkness and World War Z), and two television programmes (Astronauts and Doctor Who: Shada).

The editorial explains why I’m not retiring the magazine just yet, and the cover is once again by Howard Watts.

Links

Paperback edition: Amazon UK / Amazon US
Epub version (free)
Mobi version (free)
PDF version (free)
Kindle Store: Amazon.co.uk / Amazon.com

Contributors

Allen Ashley is currently editing Astrologica: Stories of the Zodiac for The Alchemy Press, and has stories due in the next BFS Journal and the Eibonvale Press anthology Rustblind and Silverbright. (Four contributors to this issue appear in that book: Allen Ashley, Charles Wilkinson, Douglas Thompson and John Greenwood.)

Charles Wilkinson’s short stories have appeared in Best Short Stories 1990, Best English Short Stories 2, Midwinter Mysteries and London Magazine. A collection, The Pain Tree and Other Stories, was published by London Magazine Editions.

Douglas J. Ogurek’s work has appeared in such publications as the BFS Journal, Dark Things V, Daughters of Icarus, The Literary Review, Morpheus Tales and WTF?! He lives in Gurnee, Illinois with the woman whose husband he is and their five pets. His website: www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com.

Douglas Thompson is a Theaker’s Quarterly veteran, several of his stories having appeared in these pages. He is the author of seven books: Ultrameta (Eibonvale, 2009), Sylvow (Eibonvale, 2010), Apoidea (The Exaggerated Press, 2011), Mechagnosis (Dog Horn, 2012), Entanglement (Elsewhen, 2012), with Freasdal and Volwys & Other Stories due in late 2013 from Acair and Dog Horn Publishing respectively. See: http://douglasthompson.wordpress.com for more information about his activities – plus poetry!

Howard Phillips is one of this magazine’s most prolific contributors, though he has been absent from its pages for far too long, or, those of you who have read his work might say, not long enough. Poet, musician, philosopher: he does it all, though none of it well. In this issue’s instalment of his memoirs he must face his own sexism.

Howard Watts is a writer, artist and composer living in Seaford who provides the cover to this issue. (I spent much of June and July reading his unpublished but fascinating novel, The Master of Clouds. I hope a publisher picks it up soon, because it irks me no end to have read a book that cannot be included on my Goodreads list.)

Jacob Edwards supplies us with several in-depth reviews this issue: Dodger, Star Wars: Scoundrels, Star Trek Into Darkness and Astronauts and Doctor Who: Shada. However, he remains indentured to Australia’s speculative fiction flagship Andromeda Spaceways, editing #45 and #55 of their Inflight Magazine. The website of this writer, poet and recovering lexiphanicist: www.jacobedwards.id.au.

John Greenwood performs his usual co-editorial duties on this issue, and his own fiction has appeared recently in Rustblind and Silverblight, Bourbon Penn and The Ironic Fantastic (forthcoming), receiving such good notices that Stephen now regrets disabusing people of the notion that John is merely a pseudonym adopted for his more scathing reviews.

Ross Gresham teaches at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. Other instalments of the Milo/Marmite saga have appeared in TQF34 (“Name the Planet”), TQF41 (“Milo Don’t Count Coup”) and M-Brane SF (“Spending the Government’s 28”).

Stephen Theaker is the eponymous co-editor of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, and supplies fewer reviews than usual to this issue, unless he writes more in the gap between putting this section together and sending this issue to press. His reviews have also appeared in Interzone, Black Static, Prism and the BFS Journal. He has two lovely children and an indulgent, supportive wife.

Monday, 4 August 2008

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #24

pdf | epub | mobi | print UK | print US |

The Fantastic Soul

I was planning to write an editorial for this issue about the idea of the soul, and how it is used in fantasy fiction. I’ve found myself receiving a lot of submissions lately that concerned souls, in one way or another (both for this publication and for Dark Horizons). One of those stories was, in fact, up until the point where the point where the soul came into play, one of the best stories that has ever been submitted to this magazine, but I ended up rejecting it.

I began to wonder: at what point does a bugbear become a bigotry?

I’m an atheist, a rationalist and a humanist. I have a bit of a problem with stories about souls. Soul collectors. Souls wandering the earth. Souls going to heaven. Lost souls. They all bug me. I can’t get behind the Cartesian idea of the soul as a separate entity that can fly off to new adventures once the body has gone. It doesn’t make any sense. For example, in rejecting a very decent piece of writing recently I asked: "how does [the ghost] see without eyes, hear without ears, taste without a mouth, breathe without lungs, or think without a brain? I wouldn’t be able to do any of those things!"

Is that criticism at all relevant to a piece of fantasy writing?

Cartesian duality may be a hopelessly outdated idea, but then surely so are things like vampires, zombies, werewolves, gods and witches. Why do I object to souls and not those other things?

Part of it, I think, is that I believe I have a responsibility as a writer and editor, and sometimes I might take it a little bit too seriously. (I’m not serious about many things, so I hope you’ll allow me this one peccadillo.)

If I publish a story about vampires or werewolves, few people are going to be reinforced in a potentially dangerous worldview. The soul, on the other hand, stands somewhat apart from those other fantasy staples: it’s an old-fashioned idea, that doesn’t have any place in current scientific thinking, but is still fixed in the popular imagination, encouraging all sorts of odd beliefs: spiritualism, heaven and hell, astral projection, reincarnation, possession, and so on. It’s very much a part of the mainstream, and one whose influence I think is rather unfortunate. Imagine if women were being drowned for witchcraft: would responsible editors publish stories about evil witches? Probably not – and children have died in modern Britain as a result of their parents believing them possessed.

As an example of what I would call irresponsible writing, one line in the recent pilot of Fringe made me cringe: about to take a huge dose of LSD and have a spike shoved into her head by a mad scientist, the FBI agent is asked, "What makes you think this will work?" She replies, "What makes you think it won’t?"

To me that seems a hugely irresponsible attitude, one likely to encourage the desperate to hand their money over to hucksters and charlatans. What makes you think this crazy get-healthy-rich-pregnant-quick scheme will work? What makes you think it won’t? It’s the responsibility of the person making crazy claims to prove them, not the responsibility of sensible people to disprove them.

I do think the makers of Fringe are responsible – to a degree – for what principles people may draw from their stories. However, their first responsibility is to tell a good story. The story would have come to a standstill if the FBI agent had shook her head and said, "This is crazy – I’m going back to my desk."

In the early days of The X-Files I had a huge problem in this regard. Every time Mulder opened his mouth to profess belief in some ridiculous hoax I felt like throwing something at the television. But in the long term I couldn’t let that get in the way of enjoying some superb and terrifying drama. In the end, after all, Mulder was right. In his world, all of those things really do exist. In his world, there is evidence, and Scully is the irrational one.


Anyway, I decided against writing that editorial – though clearly I now have! I didn’t think there was much mileage it it, and my ideas (as you can see above) were rather vague and contradictory. What prompted the change of heart?

Well, I’ve been reading recently about an editor who allowed his bigotry to show through when rejecting stories, and that got me worrying about my own prejudices all over again.

A writer, Luke Jackson, posted on a blog a rejection email he had received from William Sanders, senior editor of Helix (an online zine), on a blog, asking for advice on interpreting it. Readers of the blog were rather more interested in Sanders’ obiter comments about Muslims and Arabs.

The story was that of a would-be terrorist. If, when Sanders referred to "the worm-brained mentality of those people", he meant terrorists and fundamentalists, it would be easy to agree with him. But then he went on to say that "he’s being mendacious (like all his kind, he’s incapable of honesty)" and that "most of the SF magazines are very leery of publishing anything that might offend the sheet heads". Which puts it in a rather different light.

Talking of that "worm-brained mentality" Sanders said that "at the end we still don’t really understand it, but then no one from the civilised world ever can". If he was still talking about terrorists, and he said that no civilised person could understand them, I would have been right there with him. Apart from anything else, killing people indiscriminately to achieve a political goal is just rude. Civilised people don’t do that – they write pointed letters to the newspaper. But there are civilised people in every country in the world who share each other’s bafflement at the horrors inflicted by their more brutal cousins.

If you say that there is a "civilised world" it makes your belief in an "uncivilised world" quite clear, and there’s no doubt here which part of Sanders’ world is full of the worm-brained, mendacious sheetheads.

Ironically, Luke posted the email completely unaware of how people would respond to it, and has now become one of the editor’s prime apologists in the matter – two things that say quite a lot about him. So he seems to be something of a blunderer, but if a more principled writer had done the same thing with the intention of blowing the whistle on something similar I would have supported them outright.

Unsurprisingly, lots of other writers and editors have had something to say about all of this, although a lot of the initial discussion was focused on the idea of whether rejection letters should be posted online at all, regardless of content. Gardner Dozois, for example, was critical of Luke Jackson for making the email public, but later said, "I like to think I’m not seething with racial hatreds, but even if I were, I wouldn’t put any expression of them into a rejection letter; that’s acting unprofessionally as well."

Tobias Buckell, on the other hand, said that he wouldn’t usually post rejection letters, but he would "make an exception if a rejection contained a racial epithet … because it would just blow my flipping mind if one ever did".

Jeff VanderMeer wondered "why there wasn’t an instant, complete, and sincere apology from all involved from the very first moments of this coming to light".

Few people accused of racism ever seem to say, "Yeah, you’re right. I just don’t like brown people." Or even, "I went a bit too far and said more than I mean. I’m sorry." There’s always an excuse. They’ve always been quoted out of context. Racism is always redefined on their terms to mean precisely nothing. The reaction is never to look in at oneself, but instead to complain about the complainers.

In short, it’s easy to spot a racist: they’re the ones who say they aren’t racist, not even one bit… Everyone else knows that we all come pre-loaded with a thousand prejudices that we have to acknowledge and work against. Everyone says off-colour things from time to time – whether it’s about race, gender (which is where I tend to go wrong, despite my best feminist intentions), the disabled, or people with ginger hair, or whatever – and we all get a bit blustery and embarrassed when it’s pointed out. You shouldn’t apologise for saying it in front of someone it offended, or get angry that it leaked out: you shouldn’t have said it in the first place. You should either stand by what you said or apologise for it.

Like Jimmy Carr says, if you have to look around before telling a joke, you shouldn’t be telling it at all.


I don’t think I would get too angry if anyone posted my rejections online, as long as they were posted in full. It would be a bit rude of someone to do it without asking, or at least letting me know, and I would certainly be more guarded with them in future, but I don’t say anything in email that I don’t mean (though I can be terribly gossipy).

On the other hand, if it was posted with a comment from the author saying, "Look at these comments – what a jerk this editor is", it would be a different matter. I’ve sent a couple of rejections out which have made me think, "Hmm, I can see this ending up on a forum under a Political Correctness Gone Mad! heading." But as long as the criticism was posted in full anyone reading it might be as likely to take my side as the other.

For example, someone who posts a response from an editor which says "this gives the impression of an author full of hatred of women, which I’m sure is inaccurate" (to paraphrase and conflate a couple of rejections I’ve given in the past) would be unlikely to get many supporters – or at least not ones about whose opinions I would care (although it always hurts when people are unkind).


That brings me back to my rejections, and whether I need to change my ways. Do I let my anti-religion/pseudoscience/new age bigotry show through in my editing?

It can’t help but come through, I think. If I think angels, souls, reincarnation, heaven, hell, ghosts, and what have you are daft in real life, I can’t help but think them daft in stories.

But I hope that when presented with a story that makes something good out of them, I can see through my prejudices to recognise how good it is. A good story can be built on any premise. I’ll never be a Christian, but I love The Omen II and The Exorcist III. My dislike of all that soul business is as stated above, but Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of my all-time favourite programmes, and that’s full to the brim of people turning evil once their souls are missing. So are a hundred other fantasy films, tv shows, comics and books.

On the flipside, Uncanny X-Men is the world’s most misleading guide to evolution, but is still fab. (You and I might know that the sudden evolution of mutants in the Marvel universe results largely from the tinkering of cosmic beings, and vibranium, and whatnot, but anyone watching the movies or the cartoons would deduce that evolution means going to bed a fish, and waking up an amphibian…)

What I have to look out for is saying, "This story is rubbish because the idea that we have a soul is rubbish." That is missing the point, and taking the time to push my own views when I should be talking about the story – a story, of course, that like The X-Files, doesn’t necessarily take place in our world, or in our universe, or in our dimension. In the next dimension along, maybe humans do have souls. (I’d imagine them as little Mr Mind type creatures who live inside our heads, and when we die they move on to the next host.)

Whether the concept of a soul or a vampire or a ghost holds water or not isn’t always what matters in a fantasy story: it’s how they allow for good fiction, whether they lead to drama, whether they are dealt with consistently within that story. It’s the integrity of the story that matters, not the integrity of the idea.

And I’ll try to remind myself of that as I deal with the next batch of submissions...


As a postscript to last issue’s editorial, Ralan’s Specfic Webstravaganza has now listed Horror Literature Quarterly as a dead market (though on Duotrope it’s just said to be closed to submissions). I hope it’s the latter.

And sadly, Apex Digest, which I used last time as an example of a new magazine making a real effort to one day be commercial, has stopped publishing – on paper, at least.

They’re now going to pay pro rates and publish online for people to read for free. Good luck to them; presumably they’ve worked out that it’ll cost less overall than it does to pay semi-pro rates plus printers plus distribution. I hope it’ll thrive online. I imagine they’ve worked out how much they’re willing to spend on the first year or so and they’ll keep their fingers crossed re advertising and referrals.

Apex (in print) was a very well put together magazine – Jason was kind enough to send me review copies, and I was very impressed. I really admired his ambition. The covers were exceptional (apologies to P.S. Gifford and his TQF-submission-guidelines-plagiarising Glutenlump’s Chilling Tales, but Apex was shamefully robbed in that category of the Preditors & Editors awards) and what I got around to reading of the fiction was of a very high quality. I feel rather bad for not having done my part by reviewing the issues properly...

Launching a commercial fiction magazine is clearly a very difficult proposition. Launching an uncommercial one, on the other hand, has never been easier. The question is just how uncommercial you want to make it!


Anyway, so here we go again: another issue of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction… Don’t think for a moment that my enthusiasm for this marvellous magazine has waned at all. Oh no, far from it. But upon this issue a heavy obligation falls. I’ve tried to put it off for as long as I could, but the time is up, the bill is due, and the debt must be paid. I speak of course of the publication of the latest novel by Howard Phillips, our long-term contributor, erstwhile marketer and sometime editorialist.

Why continue to publish his asinine rubbish, you might ask, when TQF gets so many other wonderful contributions nowadays?

Well, the novels of Howard’s Saturation Point Saga were one of the foundations of this magazine in its early years, and if there’s one thing I know about construction, it’s that if you take away the foundations the building falls down. Plus, I know for a fact that Howard will be here, year after year, plugging away with his novels, long after all the other writers we publish have moved on to greener pastures. He’s my cow. I can keep on milking him as long as I want. The milk might be sour, but once it’s in the bottle who will know? One day, if he keeps on trying, perhaps he’ll make some milk worth drinking, but "it hasn’t happened yet", as wonderful William Shatner would say.

It’s a shame that this issue’s other contributors have to share the space with Howard – let’s hope that the stink of his shed does not attach itself to them.

In "The Brass Menagerie", Aaron Polson asks how much our happiness depends upon our ability to ignore the unhappiness of others.

In "The Hungry Apples" Lyon and Offutt describe a terrible duel beneath deadly apples! It’s a story with an exceptional sense of place, and deadly apples! What more do stories need?

And John Greenwood brings more Newton Braddell. By this point you probably know what to expect, and, yes, it’s more of the same. That is to say: twists, turns, surprises, character development, hilarity and death!

Lest readers be amazed by the sudden improvement in my art, I should admit that I’ve been helped in the production of this issue by my four-year-old daughter. I didn’t have time to do my own illustrations, so she has stepped in on my behalf. I’m sure you’ll agree that she has done a bang-up job! I’ll offer a few notes to help you enjoy them to their fullest extent.

In the picture on this page she shows me being assaulted by two monsters. One of them is hitting me with a bat, while the other is hitting me with scrambled eggs. That, of course, is why I am bleeding. The most terrifying thing is the way they smile while hitting me. For page forty-nine I asked her to draw a moon with blood on it, and she obliged, before going on to add a "scary man from the shadows". The picture on page fifty-six is not as abstract as you might think: she has drawn a city (complete with inhabitant) and the mountain beneath which it sits. If you are having trouble connecting the picture on page sixty-four to the story it accompanies, it’s because my sweetie decided to draw some camels and eggs, rather than the lovestruck robot for which I asked. Perhaps I should have gone back to Aaron and asked him to work more camels and eggs into his story… My favourite illustration is that on page sixty, showing the protagonists in combat beneath the threat of the titular hungry apples.


Contents

Editorial

  • The Fantastic Soul, by Stephen Theaker
  • Contributors

News & Comment

  • New from Telos Publishing
  • Riveting Reads of Fantasy
  • Raw Edge – Final Issue
  • Sad News from Ralan and Rimbaud
  • Shatner in the Royal Institution

Science Fantasy

  • The Day the Moon Wept Blood, by Howard Phillips

Science Fiction

  • Newton Braddell and His Inconclusive Researches into the Unknown: You Can’t Beat City Hall, by John Greenwood

Fantasy

  • The Hungry Apples: a Tale of Tiana, by Richard K Lyon & Andrew J Offutt

Horror

  • The Brass Menagerie, by Aaron A Polson

The Quarterly Review

Books

  • The Art of Warhammer
  • The Black Veil & Other Tales of Supernatural Sleuths
  • The Cosmic Ordering Service
  • Doctor Who: Earthworld
  • Dracula’s Guest & Other Tales
  • Earthworks
  • Enemies of the System
  • The Homecoming
  • The Paladin Mandates
  • Shadows Over Baker Street: New Tales of Terror!
  • Sherlock Holmes and the Plague of Dracula
  • The Tangled Skein
  • Thorns

Comics

  • Aliens Omnibus Volume 1
  • Battle of the Planets: Trial By Fire
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer Omnibus, Vol. 3
  • DC Universe: The Stories of Alan Moore
  • Ex Machina, Vol. 2: Tag
  • Ex Machina, Vol. 3: Fact v. Fiction
  • Ex Machina, Vol. 6: Power Down
  • Lucifer, Vol. 1: Devil in the Gateway
  • Modesty Blaise: The Iron God
  • Modesty Blaise: Mister Sun
  • Modesty Blaise: Uncle Happy
  • Star Wars Omnibus: X-Wing Rogue Squadron Vol. 1
  • Showcase Presents Teen Titans, Volume 1

Magazines

  • McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern #13

Movies

  • Southland Tales

Contributors

Let’s see who was tricked into eating our magical artichokes of submission this time around…

Aaron Polson is a high school English teacher and freelance writer who dreams in black and white with Rod Serling narration. He currently resides in Lawrence, Kansas with his wife, two sons, and a rather sturdy – almost supernatural – tropical fish. His short fiction has appeared in various places, including Reflection’s Edge, GlassFire Magazine, Big Pulp, Johnny America and Permuted Press’s upcoming Giant Creatures Anthology. You can visit him on the web at www.frozenrobot.com. To this issue of TQF he contributes "The Brass Menagerie".

John Greenwood has made contributions to most issues of TQF following his return from a round-the-world trip, and was ultimately made co-editor in recognition of his efforts. To this issue he contributes a further episode in the life of the universe’s least favourite peripathetic astronaut, Newton Braddell.

Richard K Lyon is a semi-retired research scientist/inventor whose hobbies include collecting pulp SF magazines and writing. He has also published numerous short stories and novelettes. A collection of the latter, Tales From The Lyonheart, is available from Barnes and Noble, etc. In collaboration with Andrew J Offutt, famed author of My Lord Barbarian, he wrote the Tiana trilogy (Demon in the Mirror, The Eyes of Sarsis and Web of the Spider), and Rails Across the Galaxy for Analog. To our magazine they have contributed "The Iron Mercenary" (TQF#19), "Arachnis" (TQF#22), "Devil on My Stomach" (TQF#23), and, this issue, "The Hungry Apples". This story previously appeared in Flashing Swords 1.4.

Stephen Theaker is the eponymous editor of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, and this issue’s cover artist. (This issue’s illustrations are by his four-year-old daughter.) He wrote most of this issue’s reviews. He is also the editor of Dark Horizons, the journal of the British Fantasy Society. Some of his current favourite musicians are Foals, Sebastien Tellier (ever since his appearance on the Eurovision Song Contest) and Los Campesinos. He likes to dance to the current single by N*E*R*D, Everybody Nose, and to Lose Control by Missy Elliott. He has recently read excellent books by Brian Aldiss and Frederik Pohl & C.M. Kornbluth. Some of his favourite movies are The Voyage Home: Star Trek IV, The Wedding Singer, The Matrix Reloaded and The Darjeeling Limited.

Howard Phillips was once a promising science fiction poet, but unfortunately he fell into a downward spiral of drink and self-hatred, the horrid fate of all too many versifiers. Being given the job of marketing manager with Silver Age Books in the late nineties did much to put him back on an even keel. He still had good days and bad days, but he achieved some level of stability in his personal life. His efforts at writing poetry and fiction during this period proved unsuccessful (a succession of novels were announced; none were written), but he achieved a level of musical success with his band, The Sound of Howard Phillips. In 2005, having left the band to fend for themselves, and in the midst of a second nervous crisis, everything changed forever: a vision set him off on a quest to assemble the world’s greatest band. He has chronicled that quest in a series of novels, all of which have been serialised in Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction. "My Rise and Fall", the first part of the as yet incomplete first novel, The Ghastly Mountain, appeared in TQF#8. His Nerves Extruded (2006) appeared in TQF#9 thru 11. The Doom That Came to Sea Base Delta (2007) appeared in TQF#16 and 17. In this issue we present in its entirety the fourth novel in the sequence, The Day the Moon Wept Blood.

Rafe McGregor is a crime fiction author who spends far too much of his time rereading the work of H.P. Lovecraft and M.R. James. He lives with his wife in a village near York. More details can be found on his website (www.rafemcgregor.co.uk). To this issue he contributes several book reviews.

Friday, 4 April 2008

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #22

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Ten Years of Silver Age Books!

Looking back through the news archives on our website last month, and sprucing them up a bit, I realised that I had let the tenth anniversary of Silver Age Books pass without comment last issue, so let’s put that right!

Back in 1997, after years of writing nothing and feeling pretty bad about it, I spent a couple of weeks writing Professor Challenger in Space, a short and silly novel about everyone’s favourite character called Professor Challenger. It had been fun to write but obviously no one would be interested in publishing it (if it was even legal to do so).

In 1998 I went into a copy shop (Alphagraphics, who much, much later would print the first dozen or so issues of TQF) and found that it wouldn’t be terribly expensive to photocopy a few sets of the book for my friends. I was a bit stuck on how to bind them, so I bought some A5 folders and a hole punch, and thus was born the folderback edition! I tried to make it look like a real book (despite putting it together without access to a computer), so it needed a publisher. The name Silver Age Books was inspired by my love of comics. I wanted to publish books with a similar ethos to the wonderful, wild and silly comics of the Silver Age (roughly the late 1950s to the late 1960s): Superman and Kandor, the Fantastic Four and the Negative Zone, Green Lantern and the Guardians.

I called it Silver Age Books #1 so that it would qualify for a listing in SFX’s fanzine section, and it was nice to see it listed there, even if nobody was interested in buying a copy!

The slogan of this new company, noted on the copyright page, was “Publishing novels retrofitted for the new millenium”. Readers were advised to look out for two forthcoming releases: Mad Rolnikov and the Space Warriors (due spring/summer 1998) and Don Coyote’s Spacesuit (due autumn/winter 1998). Sadly neither of these were published.

In 2000, a couple of years later, I was working for a publisher, and noted with interest the invoices for book printing passing over my desk – the prices weren’t as expensive as I had expected. Before long I was quite an experienced typesetter, and a few lunchtimes was all it took to prepare Professor Challenger in Space for paperback publication. I gave many of the copies away as Christmas presents, sent some others to libraries, and even sold a couple of dozen.

Round about August of the same year I bought myself a Rocket eBook, something that seemed rather cool and futuristic at the time (reading about Amazon’s Kindle e-reader this year has given me a strong dose of deja vu). The most excellent thing about it was that you could download software for creating your own ebooks, and there was a website, the Rocket Library, to which you could upload them. So I uploaded a version of Professor Challenger in Space, and was heartened by the healthy download numbers. In December I made plans to write a book a month for the Rocket Library for the next year…

Well, I finished one of them, at least. That was Quiet, the Tin Can Brains Are Hunting! and if I remember correctly it was online within an hour or so of being written, on 22 January 2001.

It must have been around this time that the ever-magnificent Silver Age Books website first appeared. (Of which one recent correspondent wrote, “I was disappointed that when I clicked the link to check out the actual Silver Age Books website, my eyes started bleeding.”)

Disaster struck only two months later: in March 2001 the Rocket Library was shut down, due to corporate changes and the utter disregard of many users for copyright law. (I think Professor Challenger was out of copyright by that point…) It was a real shame, because it was a pretty cool place.

In December of that year, Silver Age Books published Quiet, the Tin Can Brains Are Hunting! as a paperback (with a black and white cover to make the printing as cheap as possible) and then 2002 was the high point to date of our book publishing, as further books followed: Elephant by Harsh Grewal (May 2002), Elsewhere by Steven Gilligan (round about June 2002), and, finally, printed in secret as a surprise present for the author, There Are Now a Billion Flowers, by John Greenwood (June 2002).

We got a bit carried away at this point, because many further titles were quickly announced, none of which ever saw publication: Aardvark Attack (volumes one to three!), by Alec Abernathy, Rolnikov, Mad Knight of Uttar Pradesh, by me, and Alpha.one, by Steven Gilligan, not to mention multiple unwritten titles by Howard Phillips that never got beyond the point of having a proposal and a page on the website.

Stung by our abject failure, nothing much happened with Silver Age Books for a while then. We published nothing, and wrote less. The cost of printing (this was pre-Lulu) was prohibitively high anyway, even if we had actually written any new books.  There was very little chance of making money, and every likelihood of losing quite a lot! So 2003 and the beginning of 2004 were very quiet, very sad times for us.

Then at the end of 2004 we wrote some new novels, launched Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction to put them in, and three and a bit years later here we are, on top of the world!

And that’s the history of Silver Age Books. No imaginary publishing house has done so much or sailed so high!

But why be so proud of a history of such mediocrity and failure? Well, I’m not proud so much as happy to have had the fun of doing it.

Also, the purpose of Silver Age Books has always been to indulge myself – and everyone will agree that in that regard it’s been a raging success!

One other bit of business: last year I began to feel it was about time Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction had a new look. Our last revamp was back in TQF#11. I liked the old look, but just had a feeling that there was a little too much white space on the page. So for this issue we’ve made the text a bit smaller, switched to three columns, and cut back on the funky fonts. It’s quite a formal look. We’ll see if it sticks!

The cover of this issue uses the brilliant Battlelines font from Blambot. – SWT


Contributors

Mike Schultheiss contributes “Darwin’s Corridor” to this issue, bringing adventure, ecology, colonialism, evolution and religion together in one steaming teapot of a tale. Though we have published many, many wonderful contributions over the last year of TQF, this kind of intelligent adventure is so exactly what we’re after that we are tempted to post it in full on our submission guidelines page. And it comes with a scientific note. How wicked is that? Notably, the story contains the word erectus 91 times. If you laugh, it’s only because you’re immature. (Like me.) It is also notable for being one of two stories from American friends this issue with curious connections to our home city of Birmingham: Buffalo Bill, mentioned in the story, once brought his travelling show here. Mike lives in Davis, California, and attends the university of the same name. He is currently awaiting his graduation from this same university in June of this year with great anticipation. He plans to pursue a career as a high school teacher of Social Studies and English through the UC Davis credentialing program in the fall. Having grown up in the foothills of California’s Sierra Nevadas, Mike is a long-time nature and animal enthusiast and is particularly fond of reptiles. He is currently at work on a novel-length version of “Darwin’s Corridor” as well as a vampire novel, Blood Moon Queen. You can befriend (or just secretly spy on) him at www.myspace.com/mikeschultheiss.

Richard K Lyon is a semi-retired research scientist/inventor whose hobbies include collecting pulp SF magazines and writing. He has also published numerous short stories and novelettes. A collection of the latter, Tales From The Lyonheart, is available from Barnes and Noble, etc. In collaboration with Andrew J Offutt, famed author of My Lord Barbarian, he wrote the Tiana trilogy (Demon in the Mirror, The Eyes of Sarsis and Web of the Spider), Rails Across the Galaxy for Analog, and “The Iron Mercenary”, a tale of Tiana which appeared in TQF#19. To this issue they have  contributed “Arachnis”, an adventure of Tiana’s youth.

Sam Leng lives in Yorkshire, England. She has had fiction published in various print and online magazines, including Skive, Delivered and Steelcaves. A previous story by Sam – “When the Sun and the Moon Did Not Shine” – appeared in TQF#19.  This issue’s tale, “A Matter of Taste”, is short, sweet and impossible to discuss without spoiling it entirely. She produces her own webzine: see www.neonbeam.org.

Robert Laughlin lives in Chico, California, in a Craftsman bungalow destined for restoration by some well-heeled future owner. Mr. Laughlin’s short stories have appeared in several American magazines since mid-2006; “The Spirits of ’26”, is his first publication in a British magazine. It’s in our science fiction section, but to explain why that isn’t really an accurate categorisation (none of them ever are!) would spoil some of its surprises. He offers a note to put this issue’s story in context: “I conceived this story in its present form approximately five years before events of September 11, 2001. I decided against writing it at that time out of the belief no one would consider it the least bit germane.” As well as sharing the interest of “Darwin’s Corridor” in the issues surrounding colonialism, this is the second of our American stories with a Birmingham connection. Avoiding spoilers, I’ll just say that the story mentions Birmingham bricks at one point, which made the acquisition of an illustration no more difficult than stepping outside to photograph our crumbling garden wall. (If only we'd had a spooky castle, an evil mutant hound and a buxom lady available to photograph when producing the cover of TQF#21...) Mr Laughlin’s story, “In the Evening Made”, published in Atomjack Magazine, was voted a Notable Story of 2006 by the judging panel of the story South Million Writers Award. He is the creator and administrator of the Micro Award, an award for previously published short fiction not over 1,000 words in length.

John Greenwood has made contributions to most issues of TQF following his return from a round-the-world trip, and was eventually made co-editor in recognition of his efforts. To his camera we owe the photography that accompanies “Darwin’s Corridor” in this issue. To his pen we owe the ongoing genius of Newton Braddell’s inconclusive researches into the unknown. This issue sees no improvement in Newton’s situation. I would feel sorry for him if his travails weren’t so entertaining! Six months have passed since the appearance of our last Newton Braddell episode, six of the longest months of my life!

Steven Gilligan was a mercurial, interesting and funny person to be around. Unfortunately he produced just twelve episodes of Helen and Her Magic Cat, the last of which appears on the back cover of this issue. Most of his unpublished work was destroyed before his death, an action which left some tantalising hints in the recent files list on his laptop, but a few bits survived. So I do still have a few unpublished fragments of his writing. We’ll do something with them at some point, so it’s not quite the end of his contribution to the magazine. Still, it’s a bummer to have reached the last Helen. What can or should we read into its strange conclusion? Did Steven just lose interest in producing the comic, or was it his intention for it to end so oddly?

Stephen Theaker is the eponymous editor of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, and the cack-handed publisher behind Silver Age Books. He has written six novels to date, but spent no more than thirty days on any, and much less on most. He recently became the editor of Dark Horizons, the journal of the British Fantasy Society, a publication launched in 1971.


This issue features reviews of the following titles: Triangulation: End of Time, The Game, Spider-Girl Presents: The Buzz and Darkdevil, Deep Secret, John Constantine: Hellblazer, Reasons to be Cheerful and The Gift. Our review section has traditionally been a bit weedy – it was rather embarrassing in particular to realise that until this issue I had never reviewed a book for TQF that I had actually read – but starting a Goodreads account has unlocked my inner reviewer!

Saturday, 29 December 2007

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #20

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The Big Two-Oh: Celebrations and Apologies!

So this is it for another year – our fourth year of issues (even if it’s only been three and a bit years since the first came out). I’d love to say that this has been a great year for Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, because in many ways it has. Our downloads have increased immensely and even our print sales have gone up a bit. People are starting to hear about what we’re doing. Listings on places like www.duotrope.com, www.ralan.com and the AA Independent Press Guide have brought dozens of submissions to our inbox, and the stories which we have accepted have enriched the magazine in every way. But I can’t bring myself to say it’s been a great year when it was the year our best friend died, leaving us utterly shaken. He’d spent Christmas with my family for something like the last six years, and while that sadly reflects the fact that he never managed to find someone special to create his own Christmases with, they were always good times, and it’s hard to face this one without him around. Apart from anything else, he nearly always bought superb presents for me. (Last year it was The Lurker in the Lobby, a fascinating overview of Lovecraftian cinema.)

I won’t spend the whole editorial being sad, though. It is Christmas, after all, and however much I miss my friend, I’m in ecstatic anticipation of the new Doctor Who Christmas special, and the Marks & Spencers pre-cooked turkey crown in the fridge looks as delicious as it does every year!

In this issue we have the first portion of a new novel by my co-editor, John Greenwood. I made him co-editor in recognition of the fact that he was writing half the magazine at the time – it would be unfair to reject his work now to avoid accusations of bias! And why avoid those accusations? I am biased, no doubt about it. I have a sneaking suspicion that with this novel, as perhaps with his Newton Braddell series, John is pandering to me somewhat, since he packs into each of them everything I want to read whenever I pick up a book (rare as that tends to be nowadays). It’s as if he has made a careful study of my literary tastes and preferences and custom-written a novel to entertain me. The Hatchling is his paciest, most thrilling and most atmospheric piece of writing to date, and if I could get away with reprinting it in every issue from now to eternity I would.

Next, Bruce Hesselbach regales us with a Tale of Yxning, "Contrarieties". Like The Hatchling, this is a story that hits the nail of my tastes so squarely on the head that it is almost uncanny. And the last story of the issue is the concluding part of Michael Wyndham Thomas’s serial, After All, "A River. It Had to Be." It’s been a privilege to publish this fine serial in these unworthy pages.

To both authors I owe an apology (in addition to the one I owe Bruce for the appalling illustration of a plant pot falling on Yren Higbe’s head that marred the publication of his story in TQF#19). Michael Thomas’s serial appeared in all six issues this year, while Bruce Hesselbach’s Tales of Yxning appeared in three, and yet neither author has had the cover devoted to them. The first cover was a portmanteau covering all the stories in the issue (just one postage stamp-sized illustration related to After All), and the next two were devoted to Howard Phillips’ The Doom That Came to Sea Base Delta. The fourth cover of the year featured a creature from the fabulous "Ananke" by Jeff Crook, and the fifth concerned "The Walled Garden", by Wayne Summers, not that anyone would have been able to tell, thanks to my lack of drawing ability. Then this sixth issue has a cover relating to The Hatchling. So that’s four out of six covers given over to our in-house writers, and that’s not at all fair.

The reason is that we knew way in advance what in-house material we had in hand, and once draft covers were drawn up, even though other material came in, I didn’t want to start over on the covers, out of sheer laziness!

In 2008 I’ll make much more of an effort in this regard: I’ve made a vow that none of the covers will be devoted to anything written by myself, John Greenwood or Howard Phillips (unless there is nothing else in the issue).

That brings me to something else that I don’t feel we’ve done particularly well this year: reviews of the books people have sent us. If you look at page 72 of this issue you’ll see my review of Test Drive by DJ Burnham, a book I did not finish reading. As a one-off that wouldn’t be too bad, but it follows similar non-reviews of DF Lewis’s Weirdmonger and Nemonymous #7 (aka Zencore!) in previous issues. For that matter I didn’t get very far through Apex #10 before writing a short review, and Apex #11 stands on my desk now, just as an interesting book by the name of Triangulations stands on my co-editor’s desk. It’s a bit of an embarrassing pattern. We just don’t get around to reading them. In the case of some books that are sent to us on spec, or that we’ve bought ourselves, I don’t feel too guilty, but in the case of something like Apex or Nemonymous where the author has offered review copies and we have specifically requested them, it’s very poor of us.

I can’t promise that we’ll do better next year. For one thing, what really interests me about other small press publications is their methods, philosophies and goals, rather than the stories within. I’m fascinated to see what people are doing, and love to think about the reasons they are doing it. But (and I doubt anyone will disagree) a reviewer should really read the book too! Another issue is that reading an entire book for review takes about as much work as proofreading an entire issue of TQF, and for me it often comes down to doing one or the other.

So while I can’t promise to write better reviews, I won’t ask people specifically to send us review copies, and I apologise to anyone I’ve asked to send us a review copy in the past. If you do send us review copies of your work, I think you’ve had fair warning of the poor quality reviewing you can expect! (For really good reviewing, visit the website of the excellent Whispers of Wickedness.)

So here’s to the end of a very exciting year for this flawed but good-hearted and tenacious magazine! Twenty issues down, but the next will be the best yet – because every issue is! – SWT


Editorial

The Big Two-Oh: Celebrations and Apologies!

The Hatchling: Post-Natal Paranoia

John Greenwood

An Inconvenient Inheritance * Tangling with Grunewald * The Subterranean Ministry * Abroad, Unarmed and Incommunicado * Another Road to Juliaca * An Audience with El Alcalde * The Prison Under the Lake * Night of the Lakemother

Tales of Yxning

Contrarieties

Bruce Hesselbach

After All

A River. It Had to Be.

Michael Wyndham Thomas

The Quarterly Review

Halo 3 * Test Drive

Helen and Her Magic Cat

Steven Gilligan

Monday, 4 June 2007

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #17

pdf | print UK | print US |

Far-Flung Fiction!

Hello! Welcome to TQF#17! This last couple of months have been very exciting for us, not least because TQF#16 was downloaded over 600 times! Not a lot by some standards, but for us it was flabbergasting. My flabbers are gasted through and through. It's very exciting, yet rather frightening, too – people are actually going to look at our work, and judge it.

When putting together earlier issues I had no such fear, and gambolled about in blithe idiocy. Still, don’t think we’ve buckled under the pressure! Quite the opposite: we’ve thrived! For one thing, those extra eyeballs have led to extra submissions, and the extra submissions have led to extra pages!

Seeing all those eyeballs rolling in the direction of this issue made me think this might be a good time to put together a manifesto of some kind, to explain what the magazine’s all about. It’s important, for example, for potential contributors to understand that this is not, in many ways, a respectable magazine, and it doesn’t have a very respectable history… After all, it was originally set up with the express intention of exploiting the handful of authors I already had in my pocket (myself among them), and even now, when it publishes authors I have to treat with a bit more respect, it is still rather ruthless, at least in its determination to keep going!

So, what have we got for you in this issue? Which authors have sacrificed their reputations in order to bulk up our page count? As ever, of course, like it or not, there are further instalments in the Saturation Point Saga (by Howard Phillips), the researches of Newton Braddell (by John Greenwood), Helen and Her Magic Cat (by Steven Gilligan), and After All (by Michael Wyndham Thomas).

Cronies and indentured servants aside, Diane Andrews, new to these pages, calculates for us “The Speed of Darke”. In a strange world of filtered legend, recently delivered from the rule of the mysterious Monckes, life tries to go on.

When Richard K Lyon sent me the story of “The Christmas Present War”, a quick google revealed him to have collaborated with Andrew J Offutt on a series of novels. Given that I only had to look up from my monitor to see novels by the collaborator in question, the story was as good as accepted before I even read it. Thankfully, once I did read it, the story didn’t let me down.

Jeff Crouch has provided us with “Glurp”, the first story accepted for this issue. Like the substance in its title, this story stuck with me after my first reading of it, and I felt an uncontrollable compulsion to send the author an acceptance note. It might be wise to lock your valuables in a safety deposit box before you proceed, just in case the author has woven some strange, malignant science into his story’s telling that might force you, too, to do his bidding.

Sometimes I read and accept stories late at night, at times when I should really be sleeping. How else to explain the appearance in this serious and august journal of such a lunatic item as Dan Kopcow’s “Gone English”, a tale of the Bearded Avenger? Then again, it does remind me of Grant Morrison and Simon Louvish, a combination which will usually add up to an instant acceptance from these parts!

I hope you enjoy this issue as much as I enjoyed putting it together!– SWT


Editorial

Far-Flung Fiction!

News

Monster Invasion? ~ The TQF Manifesto

The Saturation Point Saga: The Doom That Came to Sea Base Delta

Howard Phillips

The Morning After ~ The Doomed Mission ~ A Fight to the Death! ~ Howard Needs Help! ~ The First Night of the Great Big Fear ~ Howard’s Grand Performance ~ Gonna Roll the Bones! ~ The Creature Attacks ~ Attack from Beneath the Waves! ~ The Dusty Waters ~ Things Get Worse ~ The Doom of Howard Phillips ~ The Ultimate Fate of Sea Base Delta ~ A New Note or Two ~ Return to Danger! ~ My Greatest American Adventures

The Speed of Darke

Diane Andrews

Gone English

Dan Kopcow

The Christmas Present War

Richard K Lyon

Glurp

Jeff Crouch

After All

Riddle-Me-Ree

Michael Wyndham Thomas

Newton Braddell And His Inconclusive Researches Into The Unknown

Death and Rebirth

John Greenwood

The Quarterly Review

Earth Defence Force 2017 ~ The Last Mimzy ~ Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Obituary

Steven Gilligan (1973–2007)

Helen and Her Magic Cat

Steven Gilligan