Thursday 31 August 2023

TQF74: UNSPLATTERPUNK! 6: out in paperback and free to download!

Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction #74
is now out in paperback and ebook!

free epub | free pdf | print UK | print USA | Kindle UK | Kindle US

This issue features “Kung Fu Sue: Origins” by Harris Coverley, “Man-Eating Mother of the Year” by DW Milton, “The Fall and Rise of Donna Harrington” by LJ Jacobs, “The Great Him-Horse / Horsehekin War” by Antonella Coriander, “We Who Are About to Die” by Jack Thackwell, an editorial and reviews from Douglas J. Ogurek, reviews from Stephen Theaker, and a cover by Edward Villanova.

Optimism smothered in ghastliness!

Sometimes to learn a lesson, you need to get a little dirty, or in this case, covered in bodily expulsions. The UNSPLATTERPUNK! smearies continues with a new batch of gore-infused horror with a positive message. This sixth instalment introduces five stories about women who take a stand (or stand back as men destroy themselves). Brace yourself for shattered teeth, smashed bones, ruptured organs, plucked eyeballs, torn-off limbs, and for the first time in the USP catalogue, spaghettification.

A modern-day Cinderella stumbles across a rare book containing the secrets to physical and spiritual empowerment. A bounty hunter couple that uses toilets to travel between times and dimensions discovers something unexpected about their latest target. A sex-starved jerk confronts his grieving wife at the zoo just before things go apeshit. Women in a futuristic society turn an analytic eye on how 21st-century men wiped each other out… because of a cartoon. A gladiator imprisoned by aliens and stuck in a cycle of killing, drinking and fornicating meets his match in a fed-up sex slave.

Edward “Eddie V” Villanova's cover art makes us question everything about this volume: Is this death, or is it life? Is it dark, or is it light? Sinner or saint? One thing is for sure: these stories won’t just drop your jaw – they’ll rip it off and hurl it!"
Here are the tremendous contributors to this issue.

Douglas J. Ogurek is the pseudonymous and sophomoric founder of the unsplatterpunk subgenre, which uses splatterpunk conventions (transgressive/gory/gross/violent subject matter) to deliver a positive message. His short story collection I Will Change the World … One Intestine at a Time (Plumfukt Press), a juvenile stew of horror and bizarro, aims to make readers lose their lunch while learning a lesson. Ogurek also guest-edits the wildly unpopular UNSPLATTERPUNK! “smearies”, published by Theakers Quarterly Fiction. These anthologies are unavailable at your library and despised by your mother. Ogurek reviews films and fiction for that same magazine. Publications have rejected Ogurek’s work nearly 2,000 times. However, some of the world’s leading literary journals thanked him for submitting manuscripts in (form) letters. One highly respected publication even said, “We want to thank you for your kindness in letting us see your work.” Thus, Ogurek is a kind author. More at Twitter: @unsplatter

Harris Coverley has had more than eighty short stories published across dozens of periodicals including Curiosities, Hypnos, Penumbric Speculative Fiction Magazine and Rivanna Review. A former Science Fiction & Fantasy Poetry Association Rhysling Award nominee, he has also had over two hundred poems published in journals around the world. He lives in Manchester, England.

DW Milton is a pen name. The author has a day job but would rather be writing fiction.

LJ Jacobs was born in Chester, England and raised in North Wales. He lives in a small Welsh hamlet and enjoys the quiet life with his lovely family. He enjoys playing and listening to music and writing. His heroes are the bluesman Robert Johnson (the creator of rock ’n’ roll!) and author Ernest Hemingway (pioneer of the iceberg theory). Jacobs has contributed to numerous anthologies and online journals with publishers such as Mind’s Eye Publications, Wicked Shadow Press, redrosethorns and New Edition. He hopes to assemble his work for his own collection one day.

Antonella Coriander knows when you've been naughty, and she's going to use that information against you. Her work previously appeared in TQF47, TQF48, TQF49, TQF50, TQF51, TQF55, TQF57, TQF58 and TQF62.

Jack Thackwell is an up-and-coming writer from the south coast of England. He has been spinning splattery stories about human misery and grotesque creatures for as long as he can remember and shows no signs of stopping. Jack has been featured in several episodes of The NoSleep Podcast but is keen to diversify and find homes for his more visceral stories.

Born into a large Italian family in the Arts District of Dallas, Texas, Edward Villanova is the product of culture and chaos. He began writing at the age of four, and credits reading Harlan Ellison’s I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream at the age of six as the definitive moment that he fell in love with horror. Edward hosts the comedy horror podcast Eddie V’s Horror Show, where he discusses terrifying happenings, scary movies, and the art of writing, all with a comedic bent. His published works include political nonfiction under another name, as well as fiction in The Scarlet Leaf Review and via Kindle Direct Publishing.

Stephen Theaker was entirely responsible for the delay in publishing this issue.

As ever, all back issues of Theaker's Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.

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