Questions and Answers, 31 May 2020

Here are my answers to the less urgent questions that the world has been asking this week. Feel free to supply your own answers in the comments!

If you could have the possibility to have a drink with an author, dead or alive, who would it be? – Teuta Metra

I wouldn't want to have a drink with someone who would feel their time was being wasted on me, though the authors I have met have all been very nice. I think I'd pick one of the many authors I've never met who have contributed to TQF, like Rafe McGregor, Jacob Edwards, Charles Wilkinson or Douglas Ogurek. Or maybe Ramsey Campbell, not just because of his writing, but because I worked with him for years on the British Fantasy Society Committee without ever having the nerve to speak to him in person.

Six books within reach. – Facebook meme

The closest six to me right now: Hainish Tales, Vol. 1, Ursula Le Guin (52 cm), Zenith Phase One, Grant Morrison & Steve Yeovil (61 cm), Nancy's Mysterious Letter, Carolyn Keene (67 cm), Penguin Concise Dictionary (72 cm), New Oxford Spelling Dictionary (73 cm) and New Oxford Dictionary for Writers & Editors (74 cm).

What have you been creating during lockdown? – BBC Radio 6 Music

I recorded a song every day for a fortnight and made videos for them all too. My favourites were: Why Did the Chicken (Cross the Road)?, Terry's Theme, Rocking Giant, I Love Your Sad Face, He's Just a Baby! and Feel That Beat. And then to celebrate the Eurovision that never was I wrote another: I Want to Hear What You Think About Things.

Does anyone have tips on how to be better at reading longer books? – Facebook group member

Whatever the length, it's the book's job to keep you interested and if it's failing to do that just ditch it. But if you have to read it for school or review or self-improvement or something, set a bearable number of pages to read each day and spend the rest of the time reading something else. Modern novels tend to be too long because that's the length of book the publisher wants to publish, rather than because the author had enough ideas to fill that many pages.

Does anyone know of websites to purchase ebooks for Kindle that aren't Amazon? – Facebook group member

I can't think of anywhere other than some publishers' own websites that will be selling DRM-free copies of big new releases, but Weightless Books is good for indie publishers.

Do you have any weird grudges? Mine is against the Roman Empire. – @inkasrain

The New York Bagel Co stopped pre-slicing their bagels because of customer feedback. I get angry at those customers every time I have to get the big knife out to slice some bagels. My fingers deserve to be safe.

The hardest you've ever cried in a movie/TV show. – Kevin L. Lee

Watching A.I. Artificial Intelligence in the cinema, when the mother leaves the android boy in the woods. I literally had to stick my fist in my mouth to stop myself wailing out loud. I think we had at that point been through a round or three of IVF which had not worked yet, and it's an emotional film anyway; it was all just too much. But what a big baby…

Anyone want to read an absolutely massive profile of/interview with Michael Moorcock, interwoven with a lot of personal stuff? – David M. Barnett

Yes I do! Here it is if TQF readers would like to read it too.

I was reading a book this weekend, got 3/4 of the way into it and realized that I had already read it! Has this happened to anyone else before? – Facebook group member

Yes, I spent the whole of Downward to the Earth by Robert Silverberg trying to remember what it reminded me of, and of course it reminded me of itself. I've also had quite a lot of sf books that were previously published under different titles, like Michael Moorcock's The Blood Red Game / The Sundered Worlds – it was always disappointing to start reading one of those and realise it wasn't new. Thanks to Goodreads and ISFDB for making such unhappy events much rarer.

Someone just told me that “Reading books in paperback format is idiotic because that’s what tablets are for now.” But I still read more paperbacks than ebooks (there’s nothing like the feel of a real book in my hands). What about you? – Morgan Wright

I barely ever read paperbacks now. Maybe one or two a year, apart from comics and Penguin minis. I wouldn't say it's idiotic to read them, though! Just a hassle. I might feel differently if our house weren't so dim, and if I weren't mainly reading for review. Drives me mad trying to find particular passages I need in print books.

What is the hill you would die on? What is your cause? – Dr Jessica Taylor

That lying is bad. It's caused me problems at work (not current work), in voluntary organisations, in all sorts of situations. I won't do it, I can't help pointing it out, and I can't bear it when other people do it.

The Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi | review by Stephen Theaker

John Scalzi was by 2017 one of science fiction’s most famous living writers, and though some of that was down to his formidable and somewhat reassuring social media presence, the books played a substantial part too. While the 2013 Hugo award for Redshirts rewarded a book that wasn’t universally adored, it was a sign of how popular he had become with readers, and he subsequently signed a colossal thirteen-book publishing deal (as alluded to in this book’s dedication: “To Tom Doherty … here’s to the next decade”) of which The Collapsing Empire forms the opening salvo.

Questions and Answers, 24 May 2020

Here are my answers to the less important questions that the world has been asking this week. Feel free to give your own answers in the comments!

Who's the first comic-book creator (writer, artist, inker, colorist, letterer, editor) you've ever met, and how did it go? – Paul Renaud

I took my kids to an art event in our local park and John McCrea was there helping out. I was awestruck. He was very nice and gave my daughter some excellent advice.

Describe your favorite film in three words. – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

Ramona's evil exes.

What’s YOUR favorite film from your least favorite genre? – James Gunn

There are quite a few movie genres I don't really like, such as musicals, romance, CGI kids films, family drama, courtroom drama, melodrama, etc, but I would struggle to pick a favourite film from most of those. So I'll go for Westerns and The Hateful Eight. No, wait! I forgot evangelical movies, and the original Left Behind. Unlike the tedious remake, the original was great fun. And it tickles me that worshippers of a god would think a film where he kills a ton of children would be a useful recruiting tool.

Questions and Answers, 17 May 2020

Here are my answers to the questions that the world has been asking this week. Feel free to add your own answers in the comments!

We all have odd quirks what's some of yours? – GingerNuts of Horror

I can't go to sleep in between books. If I've finished my book I have to choose a new one and I've stayed up two hours doing that before now.

Anyone else have family who doesn't read your books? – Deborah Maroulis

My wife read my first novel but none since then. I don't blame her.

What's your best cinema memory? – Danny Morgan

I couldn't choose between between three of them. During Django Unchained, a chap at the front of the cinema stood up when Jay-Z's rap came on and performed it for us in time with the film. He was escorted out shortly afterwards. Fast and Furious 6: The build-up to Jason Statham's appearance. Those who had seen Tokyo Drift were slack-jawed because we knew what was coming, while for the other half it all came as a complete shock. And Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor. The twelfth Doctor's eyebrows! I have never heard an audience react like that. It was like white noise. The sound of three hundred geeks exploding with happiness.

Your Twitter handle is now your job. What do you get paid to do? – Carlos

First time I needed an internet handle I used the name of a character from a script I entered in a BBC screenwriting contest: Rolnikov. So I guess now my job is to travel from planet to planet having adventures that aren't quite funny enough to win comedy screenwriting competitions.

If band names were literal, what would be the scariest band to fight? – Ian Karmel

Have you ever been in a darkened room? Nothing could be scarier than The Shadows. They wouldn't even kill you. They would just keep scaring you, over and over. You wouldn't be able to sleep. They'd always be at the corner of your eye. They'd follow you everywhere. Brrr.

If you could get ONE movie made, what would it be? – @Dene71

Tom Hanks in an adaptation of Clifford Simak's novel Way Station. I've always thought that would be brilliant.

I want to know what you think is the best single episode of any television show ever and why. – Ian Browne

As far as science fiction goes, I would lean towards "Kiksuya" in season two of Westworld. It's a wonderful example of conceptual breakthrough, as Akecheta slowly realises what he is, and discovers what his world is, and it's heartbreaking.

Questions and Answers, 10 May 2020

Here are my answers to the questions that the world has been asking this week. I wrote my answers over the course of the week so there may be contradictions (e.g. when it comes to the most recent tv show I watched). Feel free to supply your own answers in the comments below.

You are now the main character from the last TV show you watched. Who are you? – Tor.com

Dolores from Westworld season three. Which is great because now I can divide my to-do list between five copies of myself, like she does.

Which sci-fi show's prediction of the future do you wish was true? – Big Finish

Struggling to think of one that doesn't feature a cataclysm in the 21st century. So I'll go for Parks and Recreation, which skips into the future towards the end. Their future seems pretty nice. Who wouldn't take Leslie Knope or Ben Wyatt as president right now?

What was the first James Bond movie you saw on the big screen? – Scott Mantz

Didn't see one in the cinema till Goldeneye. And since then just Die Another Day and Spectre. Mrs Theaker's not a fan. But she gets me them for Christmas and watches them with me on Boxing Day, so I can't complain.

What's a blurb word that makes you NOT want to read a book? – Claire Dederer

Epic. Just means it's too long.

The last TV show you watched is now getting a crossover with the last videogame you played. What is the unholy abomination that has just been created? – Alethea Kontis

Far Cry Into the Night. I can see that working.

Can men be feminists? – la scapigliata

Maybe men can be feminists, theoretically, but in practice I think we have an insuperable conflict of interest. I used to think that saying I was a feminist was a useful thing to say to other men. But I came to think that, as far as saying it to women went, it was like saying I'm not racist to someone from an ethnic minority, i.e. for them to decide, not me. When I saw the way some self-proclaimed male feminists treat female feminists, that feeling hardened and I started to feel that it could be quite the red flag. So I gave away my John Scalzi-inspired "Hell yes I'm a feminist" t-shirt, which was a shame because it was very comfortable. I would say instead that I'm anti-sexism. And all too often the sexism that I need to be anti- is my own!

Fantastic Orgy by Carlton Mellick III | Review by Douglas J. Ogurek

Originality, succinctness and clarity reign in masterful short story collection 

One of the most common drawbacks of the contemporary short story, especially in genre fiction, is sameness. Carlton Mellick III’s Fantastic Orgy, like many of this bizarro author’s works, stands out as a refreshing exception. With his utterly original content and tight writing style, Mellick introduces a smorgasbord of characters, situations and ideas that the reader has likely never encountered. Whether Mellick is writing about a lollipop-headed musclebound stud sampling cheese, an inadvertent transvestite using her hair to combat berserk enemies, or a “fat lazy half-assed drummer” who’s constantly drunk, he keeps the reader engaged with stories that are humorous, fast-moving and at times poignant.

Lone Wolf 25: Trail of the Wolf | review by Rafe McGregor

Lone Wolf 25: Trail of the Wolf (Collector’s Edition) by Joe Dever
Holmgard Press, hardback, £16.99, April 2020, ISBN 9781916268012

With the release of Trail of the Wolf to schedule, I must confess that my cautious optimism about Holmgard Press has matured into quiet confidence… to the extent that I’d be very surprised if the late Joe Dever’s whole Lone Wolf cycle (books 1 to 32) hasn’t been published by this time the year after next.  As I mentioned in my review of Lone Wolf 24: Rune War, I have never played books 25 and 26 so I was particularly pleased when this arrived very promptly in the post (from Holmgard Press’s website, at: www.magnamund.com).  Trail of the Wolf is the sequel to Rune War and although I provided a brief summary of the New Order series (books 20 to 32) in my review of Lone Wolf 22: The Buccaneers of Shadaki, it is worth drawing attention to the way in which the cycle has been constructed.  The Kai (books 1 to 5) and Magnakai (books 6 to 12) constitute a single quest (or “campaign”, in role-playing game terminology) with a single protagonist (“player character”), Lone Wolf. The Grand Master series (books 11 to 20) consists of ten standalone adventures, in which Lone Wolf plays the part of troubleshooter for the good gods Ishir and Kai, foiling the evil god Naar’s plots to extend his influence in Magnamund (the fantasy world in which all the gamebooks are set). The New Order series focuses on a new protagonist (whose name is randomly-generated, leaving me with “True Friend” for mine) and combines campaign and standalone adventures.  The standalone adventures are Lone Wolf 23: Mydnight’s Hero (reviewed here) and Lone Wolf 26: The Fall of Blood Mountain.  There are four separate campaigns: books 21 (reviewed here) and 22; books 24 and 25; books 27 and 28; and the final four books, beginning with Lone Wolf 29: The Storms of Chai (29 and 30 are reviewed here and here; 31 and 32 have yet to be published).

Zombie Apocalypse: Acapulcalypse Now by Alison Littlewood | review by Stephen Theaker

Despite the painfully punning title, Zombie Apocalypse: Acapulcalypse Now (Robinson) is not a spoof, in fact it’s quite the gorefest, almost a paperback nasty. It takes place in the shared world created by editor Stephen Jones and his collaborators in the typographically inventive anthology or mosaic novel Zombie Apocalypse. Happily this one doesn’t have any difficult-to-read handwritten passages, though it does have lots of italics, for emphasising words, for thoughts, for Spanish phrases. The Monumento que Canta, an ancient ruin, has been plucked from its original location and placed on the top of an ersatz pyramid near Acapulco: a theme resort, the Hotel Baktun. As new staff and the first guests arrive, it’s not long before reports come in of serious problems back in London, of plague pits discovered under cemetaries and “members of the public reportedly biting and scratching each other”.

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #66 is now out!

free pdf | free epub | free mobi | print UK | print US | Kindle UK | Kindle US | review

Welcome to Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #66, edited by Stephen Theaker and John Greenwood.

This long-delayed issue features stories by Walt Brunston, Drew Tapley, Amber Velez, Mae Ashley, Charles Wilkinson, Teika Marija Smits, Matthew Amundsen and Elaine Vilar Madruga (as translated by Toshiya Kamei). Jessy Randall interviews Lorinda J. Taylor about the process of inventing fictional languages, and Stephen Theaker interviews rising star Tim Major. Jacob Edwards, Rafe McGregor, Douglas J. Ogurek and Stephen Theaker supply the reviews, while John Greenwood provides the cover art.

Howard Phillips returns to our pages with an editorial, where he lists the 2019 writings of his that he hopes you will consider for awards recognition this year.

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Here are the tremendous contributors to this issue.

Amber Velez has been published in Carnegiea Literary Magazine and won a Young Authors award at the 2019 Tucson Festival of Books. She originally wrote to us from Spain, where she was alternately schlepping through hostels or working on farms, on a gap year before she went to MIT. Her story in this issue is called "Eresh Ashore".

Charles Wilkinson contributes "Evening at the Aubergine Café" to this issue. His publications include The Pain Tree and Other Stories (London Magazine Editions, 2000), A Twist in the Eye (Egaeus Press, 2016) and Splendid in Ash (Egaeus Press, 2018). A full-length collection of his poetry came out from Eyewear in 2019 and Eibonvale Press will publish his chapbook of weird stories, The January Estate, in 2020. His stories have appeared in Best Short Stories 1990 (Heinemann), Best English Short Stories 2 (W.W. Norton, USA), Best British Short Stories 2015 (Salt), Confingo, London Magazine and in genre magazines/anthologies such as Black Static, The Dark Lane Anthology, Supernatural Tales, Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, Phantom Drift, Bourbon Penn, Shadows & Tall Trees, Nightscript and Best Weird Fiction 2015 (Undertow Books). He lives in Wales. More information can be found at www.charleswilkinsonauthor.com, his website.

Douglas J. Ogurek is the pseudonym for a writer living somewhere on Earth. Though banned on Mars, his fiction appears in more than fifty Earth publications. Douglas’s website can be found at www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com and his Twitter account is at www.twitter.com/unsplatter. To this issue he supplies reviews of Joker, Jumanji: The Next Level and Maleficent: Mistress of Evil.

Drew Tapley’s work has appeared in all three of our Unsplatterpunk! specials, and also in the Chiron Review, Popshot Magazine and others. His story in this issue is "Space Cutlery". One of our favourite things: something utterly ridiculous played absolutely straight.

Elaine Vilar Madruga is a poet, fiction writer, and playwright, born in Havana, Cuba in 1989. Her work has appeared in numerous literary journals and anthologies around the globe. She has authored more than thirty books, including Culto de acoplamiento (2015), Sakura (2016), Fragmentos de la tierra rota (2017), El Hambre y la Bestia (2018), and Los años del silencio (2019). Translations of her short stories have appeared in venues such as The Bitter Oleander, The Café Irreal, Fantasy & Science Fiction and Mithila Review. Her story in this issue is "A Star Is Born", translated by the prolific Toshiya Kamei.

Howard Phillips contributes this issue's editorial, "For Your Consideration". He is a frequent contributor to Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction, and also to its predecessor fanzine in the nineties, New Words. His novels include His Nerves Extruded, The Doom That Came to Sea Base Delta and The Day the Moon Wept Blood. Sequels We Slept Through the Apocalypse and A Dim Star Is Born remain sadly unfinished.

Jacob Edwards reviews "Terminator: Dark Fate" for us this time. He also writes 42-word reviews for Derelict Space Sheep. His website is at www.jacobedwards.id.au, his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/JacobEdwardsWriter, and his Twitter account is at www.twitter.com/ToastyVogon.

Jessy Randall interviews Lorinda J. Taylor in this issue. Her essay on the language of the Battlestar Galactica reboot appeared in the February 2018 issue of Theaker’s. Her poems, stories and other things have appeared in Asimov’s, Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, McSweeney’s and Strange Horizons. She is a librarian at Colorado College and her website is http://bit.ly/JessyRandall.

John Greenwood is the co-editor of TQF and provides the cover art for this issue.

Mae Ashley is a former resident of seven states scattered around the U.S. and currently lives in Washington, D.C. Her fiction has appeared in The Charleston Anvil and her earlier work appeared in the types of journals that feature Greek symbols and diagrams. Her story in this issue is "A Grandmother Paradox".

Matthew Amundsen's story in this issue is "Swallowing the Sun". When not writing, he is a sound engineer in Minneapolis, where he lives with his daughter. Since his previous story was published in TQF64, another appeared in Metaphorosis. Other stories have appeared in Cemetery Moon, Jersey Devil Press, Millennium SF&F and Starsong.

Rafe McGregor lectures at Edge Hill University. He is the author of two monographs, two novels, six collections of short fiction, and two hundred articles, essays, and reviews. His most recent work of fiction is The Adventures of Roderick Langham, a collection of occult detective stories. In this issue he reviews three Lone Wolf books, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and season four of The Man in the High Castle.

Stephen Theaker is the co-editor of TQF and shares his home with three slightly smaller Theakers. In this issue he reviews four audiobooks, seventeen books, ten comics, one album and four television programmes. His reviews, interviews and articles have also appeared in Interzone, Black Static, Prism, Dark Horizons and the BFS Journal.

Teika Marija Smits writes poetry, fiction and non-fiction, and has been published in Mslexia, Reckoning, Shoreline of Infinity and Best of British Science Fiction 2018. She is the founder and manager of the small press Mother’s Milk Books, and in spare moments she likes to create art. Website: https://marijasmits.wordpress.com. Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarijaSmits. Her story in this issue is the satirical "The Red Choos".

Walt Brunston’s adaptation of the classic television story, Space University Trent: Hyperparasite, is now available on Kindle. To this issue he contributes the latest instalment of The Two Husbands: "The Emperor of Pseudo City".

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As ever, all back issues of Theaker's Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.

Wicked Weeds by Pedro Cabiya | review by Stephen Theaker

This book (Mandel Vilar Press pb, 256pp, $16.95) begins with a warning: there are two ways of reading it, and both are a bad idea. The diligent reader who consumes each page in its usual order is on a road to chaos, which isn’t very appealing, so this reviewer took the second option: following the directions of the contents page. That takes us first to all the police interviews, then the personal journal of the unnamed, self-professed and supposed zombie at its centre, then the scientific explanations for his condition, and finally a series of field notes. This adds a degree of choose-your-own-adventure interactivity to the book, letting the reader shuffle through its pages like an investigator or a judge looking for evidence.

New York 2140 | Review by Douglas J. Ogurek

One hundred and twenty years from now, New York City is quite different: 300-storey superstructures dwarf today’s high-rises, massive balloons hold up “skyvillages”, and most notably, water surrounds the city (a result of the “second pulse” during which sea levels throughout the world rose). Thus, those who don’t fly get around in watercraft. And yet, in many ways, New York (and the rest of the world) are much the same… particularly when it comes to the conniving, self-interested political and financial elite.

The Invisible Man | review by Douglas J. Ogurek

What’s worse than a stalker? An invisible stalker. 

There seems to be a trend in recent fiction and film: an attractive, financially successful male attempts to control a female. Perhaps it started with Christian Grey. B.A. Paris’s 2016 novel Behind Closed Doors spawned Jack Angel, a sadistic psychopath who makes Grey look like Mr. Rogers.

A Cold Silence by Alison Littlewood | review by Stephen Theaker

A Cold Silence (Jo Fletcher Books) is the sequel to the author's first novel, A Cold Season, reviewed in Black Static #27. At the end of that book, Cass wondered how much she should tell her son Ben about it all. It seems her decision was to keep it a secret, but years later the mysterious death of a childhood friend takes him back to Darnshaw. Visiting the apartment where she died brings back the memory of himself as a boy, sitting on the floor of an abandoned apartment, covered in rats. Jessica had been playing a gamed called Acheron immediately before her death, which can supposedly grant wishes in return for the gamer’s soul. Ben worked for the company that made that game, and his sister has been playing it too. Ben is thus persuaded to lead an expedition into the company’s London headquarters in hopes of getting to the truth: are people really selling their souls, and if so to whom?

The Rise of Io by Wesley Chu | review by Stephen Theaker

This cyberpunk action thriller takes place four years after the end of the Alien World War. Twenty-odd years before that, humans discovered that they had been sharing the planet all along with a secret race of body-hopping aliens, the Quasing, who arrived in a spaceship crash eons ago. Unable to survive unprotected in Earth’s environment, they had lived inside the dinosaurs, then inside the cavemen, and for the last few thousand years – an eyeblink to them – they have lived among us. Despite the Quasing pulling the strings, history played out pretty much how it did in our world.

Douglas J. Ogurek’s top five mass market science fiction/fantasy/horror film picks of 2019

A fleck of brilliance amid the flotsam: time to give this melodramatic superhero and sci-fi twaddle a rest

Considering the highest-grossing (US) films of 2019, the decade closes on a somewhat disappointing note. The top ten earners (seven of them distributed by Disney) include the usual suspects: series continuations, comic-book inspired movies (only four in the top ten versus five last year), and cartoons transformed into live action. Among those are the CGI-saturated films that take themselves much too seriously. Not that CGI is a bad thing. However, no matter how riveting the music and how much is at stake, we’re talking about films populated by characters who wear tight outfits, masks, and capes. Let’s lighten up and scale down.

What it all points to, sadly, is a lack of originality and an overreliance on techniques that sacrifice character for visual bravado.

Nevertheless, I can’t harp on these moneymakers too much – my two favorite SF/F/H films of last year happen to be among the top ten earners. And one of them proves that just because it’s been done before doesn’t mean it can’t be done again brilliantly.

Though the selections below are quite different in their genre and content, they happen to be united by a common theme: a character or characters in hiding… from a predator, from a family, from a conflict… even from themselves. And interestingly, in not one of these films is the fate of the world at stake.

Another litmus test for choosing my top five: if someone were to hit the pause button at any point in the movie, how much would I look forward to resuming play?

#5: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
Angelina Jolie returns as the unjustifiably maligned antihero whose cold exterior is by no means a reflection of her true character. This dark fairy tale sequel, complete with vivid fantasy settings and their curious inhabitants, explores the delicate balance between the manmade and natural worlds. Both Jolie and Michelle Pfeiffer (as the self-assured and conniving Queen Ingrith) pull off commendable performances. Full review.

#4: Crawl
Yes, the alligators-on-steroids predators in this creature feature are unrealistically aggressive, but that doesn’t prevent Crawl from being an ultra-tense film. Haley, a member of the University of Florida Gators (ha ha) swim team, and her father Dave hide in the flooded crawlspace under their disbanded family’s former Florida home. The film’s theme has to do with overcoming the mental limitations that individuals place on themselves. Another theme is pain… really bad pain. Full review.

#3: Ready or Not
In this comedy-horror, a wealthy family attempts to hunt down a bride (on her wedding night nonetheless) in a deadly game of hide-and-seek. It combines the eccentric characters and mansion setting of Clue with the gore of a slasher flick. Samara Weaving’s nuanced performance deviates from the Rambo-in-a-dress characterization that the film’s artwork leads you to expect. Look for Weaving’s laugh that resembles a goat bleating and for the scene in which the family butler gets a little too enthusiastic about Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture”. Full review.

#2: Jumanji: The Next Level
A true embodiment of the “go big or go home” mentality, Jumanji: The Next Level offers something for the whole family: humour, valid CGI-heavy adventure, the irresistible Dwayne Johnson/Kevin Hart duo, and even messages about friendship and aging. The sequel has all the charm of its predecessor, but it lives up to its name (The Next Level) by mixing up the video game avatars and the players who control them. I seriously considered making this my number one SF/F/H film of the year. One could argue that technically, my number one film doesn’t fit into the SF/F/H categorization—it could be labeled a drama. If that’s the case, then consider Jumanji: The Next Level number one. Full review.

#1: Joker
Just when I was about to throw in the towel with comic book-inspired movies, Joaquin Phoenix changed the game with a masterful performance as Arthur Fleck, a mentally-ill, economically-disadvantaged waif who becomes one of recent history’s most extravagant villains. Director Todd Phillips detours from the CGI elements that have swamped recent comic book films and instead focuses on one character’s descent into lawlessness. One never knows what the gaunt Arthur will do: break into laughter at the wrong time, climb into a refrigerator, or commit murder. Full review.—Douglas J. Ogurek 

See Douglas’s top five SF/F/H picks from 2018, 2017, 2016, and 2015.

Lone Wolf 24: Rune War | review by Rafe McGregor

Lone Wolf 24: Rune War (Collector’s Edition) by Joe Dever
Holmgard Press, hardback, £16.99, December 2019, ISBN 9781916268005

In addition to completing the late Joe Dever’s vision of a thirty-two book cycle comprising four different series, Holmgard Press is intent on completing the Collector’s Edition release initially begun by Mongoose Publishing in 2010 (for details, see my review of Lone Wolf 21: The Voyage of the Moonstone). I must confess that for a combination of reasons (and despite the user-friendly formatting of Project Aon), I had never actually played books 24 to 26, in consequence of which I was very pleased to see Lone Wolf 24: Rune War released at the end of 2019.  The game begins with True Friend (my Kai Grand Master of randomly-generated-name-fame) returning to the Kai Monastery from his successful mission in the Kingdom of Siyen (Lone Wolf 23: Mydnight’s Hero) to be invited to a private audience with Lone Wolf.  The evil Lord Vandyan has usurped the throne of the former Principality of Eldenora and invaded the neighbouring countries of Delden, Magador, and Salony in Northern Magnamund.  Vandyan’s imperial ambitions are currently stalled in Lyris, where he is besieging Varetta (the Stornlands setting of Lone Wolf 6: The Kingdoms of Terror) with his Vorka horde.  The Vorka are Agarashi (spawn of Agarash the Damned, an archdemon that serves at the right hand of the God of Darkness) and were believed extinct before their appearance in Vandyan’s army.  The Vorka horde is being continually replenished from Duadon, the capital of Eldenora, where it appears that the creatures are being created by means of the Runes of Agarash. While Lone Wolf leads a crusade of New Order Kai, allies, and mercenaries to raise the siege of Varetta, True Friend is tasked with infiltrating Skull-Tor, Duadon’s fortress, to destroy the runes and cut off the supply of Vorka at its source.  This mission brief suggests a game of at least three parts: a wilderness adventure beginning with a river journey and ending in a forest, an urban exploration of the streets of Duadon, and finally a dungeon crawl in the fortress.

Lone Wolf 23: Mydnight's Hero | review by Rafe McGregor

Lone Wolf 23: Mydnight’s Hero (Collector’s Edition) by Joe Dever
Holmgard Press, hardback, £16.99, April 2019, ISBN 9781527237728

Now that I’m cautiously confident Holmgard Press is here to stay – to see the Lone Wolf series through to its conclusion, at least – I’ve been spending more time on the website at www.magnamund.com. On the About page there is a history of the series by the renowned Jonathan Green, author of YOU Are The Hero: A History of Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks (parts 1 and 2, published in 2014 and 2017 respectively). I was struck by how much more upbeat it was than my own history of the series, with which I began my review of Lone Wolf 21: The Voyage of the Moonstone in 2016 (and updated in my review of Lone Wolf 29: The Storms of Chai in 2017). I hope my intention to be supportive of the late Joe Dever and my admiration for the innovative ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by publishers were both clear, but I suppose Green’s history is written for a different purpose (promoting the series) to mine (providing some sort of critical appreciation). I nonetheless thought it would be interesting to compare the two, by which I mean fill in the copious gaps in my account using Green.

Jumanji: The Next Level | review by Douglas J. Ogurek

Same game, new charms: sequel swaps roles to keep the play engrossing.

A quirky quartet of avatars. A depthless villain. Angry beasts. Perilous settings. All the elements that made Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) so endearing have returned in Jumanji: The Next Level, once again directed by Jake Kasdan. But this time, the avatars have been endowed with new strengths and weaknesses, commandeered by new players, thrust into new settings, and faced with new threats both internal and external.

The Rise of Skywalker | review by Rafe McGregor

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, by J.J. Abrams (Walt Disney Studios) 

A conclusion four decades in the making. 

The release of the final instalment of the Skywalker Saga over Christmas in the UK provided me with the first opportunity to visit my fellow film nerd and former employer since moving house, in consequence of which I was very much looking forward to the whole day. The pleasant sense of anticipation offset a phenomenon that I’ve never experienced before in forty years of watching Star Wars: despite having seen both The Force Awakens (released in 2015 and directed by J.J. Abrams) and The Last Jedi (released in 2017 and directed by Rian Johnson) on the big screen, I had no recollection of where the narrative of the Sequel Trilogy had paused when the latter concluded. To make matters worse, I’d confused what little I did recall with Solo: A Star Wars Story (released in 2018 and directed by Ron Howard), which I’d also seen on the big screen (and thoroughly enjoyed) in the interim. This literal loss of plot on my part was unprecedented – unthinkable in not only the Original Trilogy so adored by my generation but even the Prequel Trilogy that proved such a palpable disappointment to so many of us. Even in The Phantom Menace (released in 1999 and directed by George Lucas) at its silliest and most spurious, there was always a clear sense of the narrative direction – working towards the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker, the destruction of the Jedi, and the beginning of A New Hope (released in 1977 and also directed by George Lucas).

Theaker's Quarterly Fiction #65: UNSPLATTERPUNK! 3: now out in paperback and ebook!

free epub | free mobi | free pdf | print UK | print USA | Kindle UK | Kindle US

GUEST-EDITED BY DOUGLAS J. OGUREK

Vicious parasites, punctured flesh, eyeball trauma, severed limbs, theatrical licking. The TQF UNSPLATTERPUNK! series returns with its third instalment. Six subversive stories, including an all-new tale by unsplatterpunk luminary Drew Tapley, aim to keep the reader entertained and aghast, while delivering a positive message.

A soon-to-be father focuses on helping others amid a Martian base massacre that shows the repercussions of human intrusion. Outraged women unite to stop a high-ranking male oppressor, and in the process, unravel the key to combating male chauvinism and its disastrous effects. A woman, certain of the upstanding life she’s led, learns a lesson that will seal her postmortem fate. Support group bloodshed leads to a scientific breakthrough. Three brothers on an Irish farm dismantle a brutal patriarchy… and chop off body parts. Back-of-theatre make-out sessions plunge to new slimy depths in an exploration of the pressure teens feel to become sexual legends.

So put on your coveralls and jump into the carnage and debauchery… You’re going to get filthy, but you’ll also emerge with a sense of hope.

Also includes reviews of books by Aliette de Bodard, John Llewellyn Probert, Laurie Penny, Pixie Britton and William F. Temple, and of the films Aquaman, Crawl, Every Day, Glass, It Chapter Two, Mary Poppins Returns, Ready or Not, Under the Skin and Us, and of the television series Carnival Row.

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Here are the gore-unsplattered contributors to this issue:

Chris Di Placito is a writer living in Fife, Scotland. His work has appeared in magazines such as Litro, BULL, Porridge, Ink In Thirds, STORGY and Structo.

Douglas J. Ogurek is the pseudonym for a writer living somewhere on Earth. Though banned on Mars, his fiction appears in over fifty Earth publications. Douglas’s website can be found at www.douglasjogurek.weebly.com and his Twitter account is at www.twitter.com/unsplatter.

Drew Tapley is a British copywriter, journalist and filmmaker based in Toronto.

Garvan Giltinan is a recovering Irishman with a fascination with the bizarre/grotesque/puerile. His work has appeared in the anthologies New England: Weird, Triggered, and Fatal Fetish. Forthcoming publications include the novel Backdoor Carnivore (JEA Press) and the short story “Titty Kitties” (Thicke and Vaney Books). Giltinan has an MFA in Creative Writing from Pine Manor College, and really weirds out his wife with the subject matter of his stories.

Jacob Edwards also writes 42-word reviews for Derelict Space Sheep. His website is at www.jacobedwards.id.au, his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/JacobEdwardsWriter, and his Twitter account is at www.twitter.com/ToastyVogon.

Joanna Koch writes literary horror and surrealist trash. Author of the novella The Couvade and other short fiction, Joanna has been published in journals and anthologies such as SYNTH #1: An Anthology of Dark SF, Honey & Sulphur and In Darkness, Delight: Masters of Midnight. Joanna is a Contemplative Psychotherapy graduate of Naropa University and lives near Detroit. Follow their monstrous musings at horrorsong.blog.

Rafe McGregor lectures at Edge Hill University. He is the author of two monographs, two novels, six collections of short fiction, and two hundred articles, essays, and reviews. His most recent work of fiction is The Adventures of Roderick Langham, a collection of occult detective stories.

Stephen Theaker is the co-editor of TQF and shares his home with three slightly smaller Theakers, one of whom provided the art for this issue's cover. His reviews, interviews and articles have also appeared in Interzone, Black Static, Prism, BFS Horizons and the BFS Journal.

Manchester, UK-based Tom Over is a writer of dark, speculative strangeness. He grew up loving all things horror and has been suckling on the gnarled teat of weird fiction ever since he was knee high to a Mugwump. He generally divides his time between watching cult movies with his girlfriend and working on his first collection. To date, his work has appeared in CLASH Media, Aphotic Realm, Crystal Lake Publishing and Horror Sleaze Trash amongst others. His first collection is due for release in early 2020 from NihilismRevised.

Zeke Jarvis is a professor of English at Eureka College. His work has appeared in Moon City Review, Posit and KNOCK, among other places. His books include So Anyway…, In A Family Way, Lifelong Learning and the forthcoming The Three of Them.

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As ever, all back issues of Theaker’s Quarterly Fiction are available for free download.